Sinister: You can always get a divorce but a tattoo is forever

[Laura Llew]

I was quietly working at the bookshop when a girl came up to me and began to 
randomly tell me about a castle which is completely made of bones. She said 
she had thought of me when she had read about and had figured I would really 
like it. (http://www.kostnice.cz/ If I ever get married, this is where I 
want to honeymoon. Oh the romance!) For some reason, her saying that 
reminded me of the now immortal sillustrated words of Miss Archel when she 
spoke, "Tomorrow I go to get my tattoo. People keep saying, "Oooh what are 
you going to get - an ickle butterfly?"

Evidently when people think "Rachel Foreplay," they see poetic butterflies. 
When people think "Laura Llew," they see chandeliers made out of skulls.

Whatever I'm doing, I'm doing it RIGHT baby!

Don't worry - you have my permission to completely ignore my inane babble. I 
have spent ten hours today cramped up in my mother's car driving while 
slowly eating a loaf of bread which I bought at a Polish bakery in Chicago 
(I started out thinking it was Sour Dough but by the time I got to Kentucky 
it started tasting like Garlic bread so who knows.)  I haven't actually 
talked with anyone today, unless cops count which they usually don't. (I 
don't know why. Must have something to do with just the third grade 
education.) When I arrived home, I learned my neighbor's water pipes have 
broken and so he will now be showering over here for the next month while 
they're being fixed. I guess that shouldn't unnerve me but it does. I 
suppose I shall be fine with it as long as he uses a different bathroom as 
me. Otherwise the thought of being naked in the same place as some strange 
male will just be too much like college again.

Speaking of being naked, it has been another trip and I didn't meet any 
Sinisterines or go to any picnics. I hope everyone in Chicago takes this 
personally since I most definitely meant it as a slight. It had absolutely 
nothing to do with the fact that I got your e-mail too late and was 
incredibly busy with work. Heck - I didn't even wear a badge upside down 
(though I did wear one on my bag that said "Make Love Not War" right beside 
one that said "Nihilist Girl." I think if I'm going to make a statement it 
might as well be one of confusion). I take it that no one else was at the 
Book Convention there? If so, I'm usually easy to spot there since I'm 
wheeling my handicapped father around like a mad demon as I take the turns 
on one wheel. I'm always a helpful daughter and I think it help builds my 
dad's faith as his prayers challenges Job's in humility and fervency. Once 
in a while, I will turn my head and he'll surreptitiously sneak away only 
for me to frantically search for him only to find him an hour later greedily 
popping chocolate huckleberries in his mouth having completely forgotten 
about his deranged daughter. However, this year I was released from my usual 
restraints of a leash and shoulder harness. Oh the joy! It was most fun 
since large amounts of books always attract large amounts of phreaks. 
(Hence, the reason I was there.) The people watching was superior indeed.

I feel it my duty to all warn you of Foxy Fields (formerly known as Paul 
Field) who I am now giving Southern lessons to. I just don't want you 
English girls to be caught off guard when all of a sudden you realize what a 
completely knee weakening, heart melting and debonair man you have in your 
midst. Of course, my pupil has not yet progressed to that point yet (sorry 
Foxy). We're just on the primer lessons really - the phrases one should 
always know when learning a new language. "Hello",  "How are you?",  "Your 
eyes are a beautiful cornflower blue that speaks of Sunday picnics in 
simpler times.", "Are you paying for this?",  etc.

On a complete unrelated tangent, I've decided that states whose speed limit 
is 55 on intestates should just have booth at the state line where I can 
pick up my traffic ticket. I'm going to go ahead and speed like a demon and 
I hate to be interrupted while doing it. Plus, the police officers always 
feel it necessary to point out my expired inspection sticker to which I 
respond, "If you think that's bad the car hasn't been registered for over 9 
months. Ha Ha H..Ahem."

Don't worry -  Laura Llew almost never gets tickets. Then again, I'm sure 
I'm not the only one to have a quick tarty reply to the question of, "Miss, 
do you realize how fast you were going?"  Heh.  I can always pull 'it off as 
long as I don't have friends in the car like last fall

Lucyfer: (to a cop who has just pulled me over for speeding) Will you write 
us a poem?
Laura:  If you have trouble finding a word that rhymes with "ticket", may I 
suggest where to stick it?

*****Now it's time for the important question.*****

Will 1400 people want to read this? I mentioned:
"where to stick it"
                    "being naked", &
                                      "Paul Field."

            If not then for the love please tell me,
            WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT OF A GIRL?!?!?!


Personally, I want a massage,

Laura
'meeting all of your Laura Llew needs since 1977'

PS  Arik, when I drove through Louisville I thought of you. Well, you and 
Cookins (sp?). Mmmm yummy
PPS - Big happy hugs to Mr. William M. Harris who sent me a new mixtape for 
the contest which I just got today. He also included BRIBERY. Yay!
PPPS- I'm currently listening to Primitive Painter's mix cd. The contest for 
best mix tapes and cds is still on but OH you kiddies best be wary.


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