Sinister: "Muffins? But I specifically ordered crumpets!"

[Iain Radcliffe]

Hi,
Well the rain's certainly falling hard on this humdrum town today, but with 
our favourite rock behemoths rolling in tomorrow with juggernauts, private 
jets, hairdressers, liggers, dealers and roadies, I though I'd treat you all 
to one of my rare (and highly collectible) despatches.
God knows how little old Perth will cope with the RAWK carnage that always 
attends the hard-gigging, groupie-shagging, satanic riffing monsters that 
are Belle and Sebastian.
Especially after Thursday's election recount. If the Tories had won, we'd 
have none of this decadent rock 'n' roll nonsense here thank you very much.

(It's at this point that I should warn you that this post will be quite 
random and indeed shite, but on the plus side, I won't write again for 
another few blue moons.)

I agree with the sentiments of Mark Cassarole that it's difficult to get the 
requisite FLOW, so I thought I'd try the old subject headings in capitals 
style.

FRIED FOOD (containing a lame joke)

My loverly big brother is home for a few days, and he is proving preferable 
to the cringeworthy tv version. I made him a top-notch soft white bap with 
bacon and eggs and brown sauce for breakfast today in the greasy spoon 
style.
As we both munched contendly on the artery hardening deliciosness, we 
composed a lame joke which I think should appear on Chewin' the Fat 
(Fwightfully Scotch comedy, dahling).

Customer: Can ah have sausages on a white roll wi' broon sass please?

Greasy spoon proprietor: Aye, no problem. Link, sliced or silly?

Boom, boom.

NEIGHBOURS IN PRODUCT PLACEMENT SHOCKER

Has anyone else noticed that Tad Reeves has been drinking an inordinate 
amount of 500ml Sprite this week? At least twice in the kitchen at  number 
30 there was a gratuitous guzzling shot, and once in the coffee shop 'n all. 
Ramsay Street should be free of such corruption.

GLASGOW GIGS

Plaudits to Ally "Organised" Cook for the picnic arrangements. If someone 
could sort the weather out, that'd be grate.
I'm going to be travelling from Perth on my lonesome (sob), so I'd welcome 
some company for anyone going to Friday's. If interested then sent me a 
message. Ta.
I hope that Saturday's will feature a sizeable drunken mob to go en masse, 
post picnic.
As I've said, I'll be bravely going on my own, so please feel free to give 
me a big hug, especially if you're a girl. If a bloke, then a manly 
back-slapping moment reminiscent of Iceman and Maverick in Top Gun will 
suffice. "You are still dangerous, Mav!". God, I used to love that film.
Has anyone seen Pearl Harbor? Apparently it's got a really AWFUL bit (no, 
really) when flyboy Matt Damon or whoever whines, "Please don't take away my 
wings." Oh, the fromage is pungent.

SORRY FOR BANGING ON, YOU MUST BE BORED

See above.

Righty ho, I'll boog raff soon. Think I'll get the horses saddled for a ride 
round the estate. Shoot a few animals while shouting "Save our Pound" in a 
Yorkshire accent.

Johnathan David's a "grower" n'est pas? I thought it was a bit haphazard at 
first, but it's really rather nice. B&S do seem to have had a bit of a 60s 
obsession in their songs recently. MDR sounds good as well, but could do 
with more throbbing organ. (sorry)

Hope to see some of you soon, enjoy the gigs all that are going.
Luv, Iain.
x

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