Sinister: "hey milhouse! want a job in my factory?"

[jmk43 at xxx.edu]

so i get back from a six hour road trip(hour spent in traffic in the 
bronx) and im sick and nauseous and i just saw "wonder boys" so i was 
convinced that by smoking weed id become a great writer. i go out on the 
porch and get high.  listening to tigermilk on headphones very loudly so 
as to drown out the noice of "crouching tiger hidden dragon" in the 
background.  in the middle of idla, i get the great idea that after im 
done listening to music on the porch id go inside and seduce my 
girlfriend, and get her to have sexual intercourse with my in the doggy 
style position. rough wild sex that we would be screaming or heads off 
during.  all the while, in the cd player is playing track 7-tigermilk "we 
rule the school." that would be positively absurd. 
somewhere inbetween the time i decide to go inside and actually do go 
inside, i decide to write an email. that way i could listen to the new 
radiohead, while stoned. that would be done before i attempt "the absurd 
act"
this is the email that i decided to write.
-jer

disclaimer 1) i realize that this email is slightly immature, and not 
really as on-par funny as id like. but the reason why its absurd is because 
it came from me.  i'm a kid whom in elementary school brought in my rock 
collection to show the class and teach them about igneuos rock.  im a 
kid, in 7th grade quit french horn because i was th only boy playing 
french horn and the kids made fun of me.  instead of going out with 
friends, i talked to my mum about music, and how i thought the song 
"ballad of peter pumkinhead" was really about jfk.  she wasnt so sure.  
(she wasnt so brite) i talked to my dad about the cubs chances to win the 
world series.  i listend to   my brothers tape recordings of him doing 
immatations of our grandmother, and doing fake interviews with arnold 
shwartzenager. (they were hilarious) i stayed after class to talk to my 
science teacher about how ive heard of what he was talking about in class 
today from a L'engle book. "swiftly tilting planet" i believe.  
(mitochodria, farandolae all that good stuff) i took up wrestling to help 
with my adolescent aggressions and depressions.  was a nerd who never 
went out on a date in highschool. was diagnosed with social anxiety 
disorder in college.  sometimes skipped weeks of classes because of it.  
needless to say, i didnt do as well as i needed to to get a job in 
college. i got a 3.0 gpa.  just graduated with a degree in agriculture 
and biological engineering.  am unemployed.  am rejected from all 
graduate programs i applied too.  mainly because they were all psychology 
programs.  eventhough my work in the field of visual search is soon to be 
published! eh, what can you do.  i just think its funny that this person 
above wrote this email.
disclaimer 2) amnesiac = good stoned
disclaimer 3)if you are under the age of 18 and NOT jenowl, all of this 
email is not true.
disclaimer 4)if you are llaura llew. the part about me having a 
girlfriend is not true.

goodnight.  
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+