Sinister: People keep mistaking me for a drunken lout

[James Thorniley]

Hello sinister,

(just quickly - really sorry if this has been sent twice but I don't think it 
has because last time my email program had my address set wrong)

Oh what was I going to say...

Well to start off because I can't remember the other stuff I was going to say 
I'm going to tell you about the Guildford Live festival this year.

It's fantastic, and it beats the shit out of that crappy little ATP thing. 
You may even find a few people smiling in the field. Plus the NME won't be 
there - chances are if any journalists turn up it will be cool ones from 
Planet Sound on channel four teletext*.

The line up is always pants mostly, but there is this year:

P!U!L!P!
Tindersticks
James
Bert Jansh & Bernard Butler (haven't got a fucking clue what this is but 
Bernard Butler's cool).
Drunk in Public (acoustic levellers, apparently)
Dead men walking (featuring some bloke from the sex pistols. don't know what 
they're like though).
Mull historical society (i'm sure i've heard of them, can't think if they're 
any good or not).
Snow patrol.

There's also loads of really shockingly bad local bands and old shit, e.g.
"The Bush the Tree and Me", "The Wurzels", "Fuzz Light Year" and "Catatonia".

It's around £30 for each day, £64 for all three days. £25 for a tent. 
www.guildford-live.co.uk. And you paid £100+ to see shit like boards of 
canada and a whole pile of bands you'd never heard of!

That was the worst advert ever on sinister I think. It's longer and more 
obvious than most of the Offbeat spams we get.

I keep using the word shit in a very American sounding way. Perhaps the 
result of too much MTV. Or something. Maybe my subconsious is just trying to 
impress Laura Llew.

Radiohead were good on TV. I think they were better when they were a guitar 
band also, Jason, but the new stuffs good too. And you can't always try and 
do the same stuff over and over or you become tired and boring like Morrissey.

Ages ago people talked about songs that sounded like other songs and can I 
just say that "Things you can do" by Deltron 3030 sounds a lot like "Clint 
Eastwood" by Gorillaz. The voice of the guy rapping sounds very similar and 
the sample going on in the background as well. Gorillaz rock by the way, 
Stuart Braithwaite doesn't know what he's talking about. Deltron 3030 are 
also pretty cool, but the best song at the moment is "Daydream in blue" by I 
Monster. It apparently uses the same sample as this Beta Band song I've never 
heard, so I'm sure if you like one you'll like the other ;)

Finally some amusingly terrible pisstake names for Starsailor (apart from 
Shitsailor) that I'm going to make up right now
Poosailor
Crapsailor
Cuntsailor
Arsesailor
Fucksailor
Arsefucksailor
Analsecretionsailor

Byebye dears
James xx

P.S. I'm not a drunken lout nor am I foul mouthed.

*Almost forgot. If you don't already, you must read planet sound starting on 
page 450 on c4 teletext. Also page 146 is good for pervy stories about people 
with willy problems (Dear Nick, Please help me. My penis is shaped like an 
amusingly shaped vegetable. Yours, Starsailor Fan )

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