Sinister: Natty Dread Schmatty Dread

[Clarke, Sarah J (EU)]

Chaps!

Blimey, there's a new Belle & Sebastian single out! NGG! And I've only got a
mere 89pennies until I can spare some time to go and queue up in a bank
whilst they still refuse to send me a new cash card! I'm no longer a true
fan! Why this should bother me when I don't even own the last album, I do
not know, but singles are always special! And I've not heard this one yet,
but pedal guitars = Thumbs Up! Does anyone want to sell (or what the hey,
give!) me an Albert Hall ticket? I'm regaining some enthusiasm - and also,
I've had Songs From The Musical of TigerMilching (its German, you know!) in
my head all day. Ack! I will buy the single tomorrow and listen to it from
my Whitehall base.

Hello Ben! You work for DTI! I work for DEFRA! It's not as good working for
a mouldy old Department, it doesn't have the imposing cachet of a Ministry.
A ministry summons up images of such things as the Queen and Country, the
Avengers, a portcullis! A Department stinks of grey filing cabinets. HUMBUG!
However, at least our abbreviation sounds quite cool. Each time someone
refers to DEFRA, I get mental images of the PRE-HISTORIC MONSTER called
DEFRAAAAGH fighting the evil force of darkness MUMRAH!! Defra 'In Zion' Vs.
'Scratch' Mumrah Uptown! I'd like to think that's a little what the Uptown
Shufflers sound like.

Would you like to know what I do, when not imaging the British Civil Service
fighting it out in the form of Japanese monsters/Thundercats? Well, I sit on
my big old bum, write emails, phone people, wish I could play my Gameboy,
count hours passing by and consider teaching myself LINUX. Linux is cool!
I'd like to wear a badge that says LINUX RULES OKAY, with a really geeky bit
of code. Computer science is not at all cool, but imagine the GLEE of
casually lending your 2K laptop to an EVIL DESIGNER SCROTE and saying
casually, "make sure you boot it up into Windows you STUPID LOSER PLEB, I
much prefer to run Linux but you wouldn't understand...". Watch their piggy
little heads explode as they realise that not only I am prettier than them
but that they are no command for my COMMAND PROMPT INPUT SYSTEM! Oh no! We
need a graphical interface!

KABOOOM!!!!!

TYPHLOSION!

Oh! And sometimes I call ambassadors! Soon we will be organising an
Ambassadors Reception! I've got the number for the Ferrero Rocher Emergency
Helpline stickytaped to my phone.

Excullente!

> > it played my headphones weren't plugged in fully and the were barely
> > audible vocals under a swirl of instrumental, and It still 
> sounded *grate*
> > (I think that's the correct term around these parts).

Actually - the term GRATE originally came from Pauly on the smashing (but
I'm unable to play it! ARG) PopEx, who nicked it from the most jolly MJ
Hibbett who can be found at http://www.mjhibbet.com - he's got songs on
there and everything! It should always be written in CAPITALS (you see,
CAPITALS), and preferably with the addition of 'BLUDDY'. It is WRONG to
write it in lower case. It is fine to be against the term, you do not HAF to
use it, cos you know, you can do whatever you want, dude! Peace, yo.

SunnySetSun... thing... that post was very strange. Most of the post-Glasgow
posts were strange. I'm now afeared to go to Scotland, and I was fecking
BORN there! Glad to know some of you met some nice people, it's nice to meet
good people. Of course, I prefer standing on the bridge throwing CUSTARD
PIES at people but I've always been one for bakery focused yumour. 

It's That Time Again!
+++++++++++++++++++++

(all together now!)

Robin, are you a weatherman yet?

(rapturous applause)

Lots of love, 
Sarah
xx

PS - I'm going to get a pet rat or hampster. Help me think of names? The
current favourite is GLUECIFER.
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