Sinister: curiouser and curiouser

[Jennifer Gray]

Hi.  
   Here's *my* con man story.  My mother and I had
just purchased some burritos and were sitting in her
car eating them.  It was quite late at night, the area
seedy.  A short mustachioed fellow, poorly dressed,
approached us and said that he'd had a flat tire a few
streets over, and that his wife and baby were in the
car.  He admitted that he was drunk, and apologized
for the fact.  He asked us to take him to the store
and give him $5 for some Fix-a-Flat.  We agreed,
although I said, "How do we know you're not a serial
killer?"  He was offended, and said that we could
strip search him, and then assumed a flamingo-like
pose on one foot that was supposed to be cute, and
said, "Not that I'd mind...."  On the way to the
store, he said that, on second thought, the flat was
too bad to be repaired with Fix-a-Flat, and we should
instead take him to his friend's apartment, who would
give him a tire. My mom offered to pick up his wife
and baby so they wouldn't have to wait alone, and he
was very much opposed to the idea.  We started to
realize that the wife and baby were fictious.  So we
took him to friend's apartment, and he went inside,
then came out and said he needed more money.  We
didn't want to give it to him, but we felt bullied, so
we counted out the last of our change.  He told us not
to leave, and then went back inside.  I looked
sidelong at my mom and said, "You know, we could just
drive off....."  Her foot hesitated over the gas
pedal.  "Let's do it!", I urged.  We did.  Afterwards,
we made a pact never to tell the rest of the family
about it....and we never did.
   On other subjects....Big Stu, don't be so hard on
yourself--*I* have the market cornered on
self-deprecation.  I never thought of seeking out boys
with glasses so they couldn't see me nekkid--I used
the classic light switch ruse.  As the old Roman
proverb goes, "all cats are grey in the dark."
   B+S content-- I couldn't listen to them today
because the batteries in my Walkman died.  I was
peeved, oh yesss, you can be sure of that.
   Weird fact:  young lab rats laugh in ultrasound
when tickled and when engaging in horseplay in what
appears to be evidence of mirth in the animal kingdom.

                     love, Jenny Janitoria

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Get email at your own domain with Yahoo! Mail. 
http://personal.mail.yahoo.com/
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+