Sinister: 3,6,9 seconds of Ribena ranting, Big Brother and detoxing.

[ribena-queen]

Hello again (I could get addicted to this)

I am, it has to be said, suitably chuffed by the support out there from
Ribena addicts like myself. I could do with your help sometimes in Jeepster
chat, where the Ribena debate comes up almost daily courtesy of yours truly.
Some of the comparisons I get are unbelieveable!!!

Robinsons: Piss from the last Steps fan in hell. I am SICK of my family, who
consistently try to poison me with this stuff by pretending it's Ribena.
Where's the similarity?? They're both reddy pink, but that's it.

Vimto: An anagram of vomit. Surely this tells you something.

Red Bull: Students drink this in order to stay up all night and write
essays. It's traditionally habit forming, whereas it takes years of hardcore
drinking to become addicted to Ribena. Any twat can get high on caffeine.

Any other squash drink: These actually make me MORE thirsty, thus defeating
the object of drinking. Interesting phenomenon.

Vodka: Rather nice if mixed with Ribena (evidence of this concoction stained
on my living room carpet under the rug, shhh ;o) ), otherwise just another
excuse for teen angst oblivion.

This is why if they ever stopped making Ribena (ARGH) I would be forced to
suicide. At my age you're expected to drink coffee, tea and alcohol. I have
a problem with caffeine which means tea and coffee are out, and alcohol also
gives me heart palpitations. Plus I dislike alcohol intensely. So I'll just
sit and wait for the day that pubs wake up and start serving Ribena.
Another common argument is the "It rots your teeth" one. Yes, admittedly if
you fail to clean your teeth regularly it probably would. But I have drunk
Ribena all 19 years of my life, and my dentist informs me I have "perfect"
teeth. Back to the corner, O vile haters of the holy drink.
I have to say I object to all those damn Ribena berries. They were brought
in to promote Toothkind (DON'T get me started), and they're purpley blue.
What's that all about?? Go and put a small amount of Ribena on something
white and you will see it is in fact pink. Not purple. Not blue. And they
have ears!! EH?? All the same, I did adopt one called Roger. I think this
was rather brave of me after the incident when I was six involving
blackcurrants and my arm getting broken. But we won't talk about that now.
If everyone drank Ribena the world would be a much better place. The only
complaint I have about it is that it stains. But I think this could make a
rather interesting fashion statement.

Okay, enough of that.

I have been avidly watching the celebrity Big Brother. I don't know the
correct procedure for starting up a debate, but I would love to hear other
listees suggestions for the ULTIMATE celeb Big Brother, not the watered down
pants version we are having to endure. In mine would be Eminem, Liam
Gallagher, Chris Evans, Richard Maddeley, Gail Porter, Trisha, Charlotte
Church and the Queen. Can you imagine??? *giggles at the hilarious ensuing
consequences* Oh heehee I'm so evil! I wanted to put Declan Swan in as well
(courtesy of Claims Direct's shit advert on in every break. I'll give him a
fucking reason to wear glasses, grrrr) but he is not really a celeb. Let's
be selective about this.

My mum has today started a detox diet. It's so funny, all she's eating is
dried apricots and sunflower seeds! I think I'll put her in a cage in the
garage. With some nice straw of course.

I have a new game. I flick through the channels on TV or radio making
sentences out of each snippet. "condoms are hard to talk about"/ "while
being greased by a herd of buffalo"/ "in a huge vat of melted cheese" was
probably the best so far. "Laugh? Laugh? I nearly went to Ethiopia!" (c)
Alexei Sayle.

*puts on a Clash t-shirt and watches Trisha*
Ever get the feeling that life is just passing you by?

Lucy
xoxo

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+