Sinister: Weeeeee Beena Berry

[mummy i've grazed my knee]

For the benefit of those with not much time, I've written important words in
BIG.

FUNNY NEWS STORY THAT YOU MIGHT LIKE

I have a POLITICS exam in five weeks and know nothing. I thought a good
place to start would be the news, it's usually got some sort of political
relevance and it's on when I eat so I can do two things at once.
Today I was enjoying GEORGE ALAGAYA (sorry George, don't know how it's
spelt. Is he on the list? Do we have any news readers or weather folk on the
list?) presenting stories in his usual cheerful manner when I stumbled upon
two examples of extreme rock and roll excess. Firstly, although actually
secondly on the news, but firstly to me, was S CLUB 7 taking cannabis. I
don't encourage drug taking of any kind, so younger people (Jen) I know you
see me as a father figure/trend setter/role model but don't get any ideas.
This is a top news story and hopefully it will confuse many kids as they
realise that some pop stars don't still have the same mentality as them and
have a less naive outlook on life than CARE BEARS.
Better still though, someone broke into Geri Halliwell's house and poured
RIBENA everywhere! I have my suspicions as to which list member it was, but
I'm keeping stum.

PICNIC

May 5th is my 19th BIRTHDAY! Unfortunately it is in term time though and I
live in YORK which means I can't come (student/no money/work etc.)
There are currently 5 sinister people at York uni though and I'm sure we
could find a few more who'd be willing to have a picnic amongst DUCK POO.

CHUCKLE BROTHERS

They're GRATE.

IAN McCULOCH

His birthday is May 5th as well, so as he's a JEEPSTER recording ARTISTE you
could celebrate his birthday at the PICNIC.

TIGER

I found out the other day that the greatest British band other than BELLE
AND SEBASTIAN is no more. I was sad.

I think you might be getting bored by now as my PARAGRAPHS get shorter.
Goodbye for now.

Chris Jones.

"We are computers... but we don't know how to operate computers" - STEPS

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