Sinister: You can't make biscuits out of breadcrumbs and butterbeans!

[Pamela Tait]

Hello. It's been a while.

I'm off to see Belle & Sebastian in 5 weeks.
*ducks to avoid angry foreigners throwing objects at her*
Well, it's about time. [pause] Have you ever been faced with a situation
where you feel you should intervene or say something even though it's none
of your business? There was this woman on the train. She was clearly in a
severe state of post-natal depression. Anyway, she was talking rather loudly
to her baby boy saying that he had to be quiet cause he was on the train and
if he cried, people would get annoyed and she'd have to throw him out of the
window. She kept repeating the part about the window over and over again.
The baby didn't cry (luckily) but I was on the verge of asking her if she
was alright. She wasn't joking or being light hearted about it. She looked
like if that baby had cried, she wouldn't have hesitated on throwing him the
window of a moving train. I fear for that child now. I didn't say a thing
and for all I know, that poor woman might be left to cope with a baby on her
own and receiving no help for her illness. I should have said something. I
can't stop thinking about it.
So, I've got a job. In a Chinese takeaway. The less said about it, the
better. Mind you, it puts food on the table and Pernod in the belly. It was
my 19th birthday recently and some fantastic lovely person got me The
Complete Bagpuss Collection on video. Which I love and urge you all to see. 
I also urge everyone to run out *RIGHT NOW* and buy 'His 'n' Hers' by Pulp.
I'm loving it at the moment. I think 'Do You Remember The First Time' is one
of my favourite songs in the whole wide world. Ever. Mind you, I think that
about Limp Bizkits 'Nookie'....
My flatmate says I was swearing in my sleep. According to her, I kept saying
"I'll fucking teach you a lesson.......bastard.....". I wouldn't say I was
worried. More embarrassed, when I think about what else I could have been
saying. I don't really care. At least I'm not a filthy slob who spits phlegm
into cold cups of tea and leaves it lying for days on end.
I've noticed a worrying trend in the number of Big Issue sellers and the
strategic positioning of them withing the City Centre of Glasgow. Next time
you're out, count them. It's quite unnerving. And who finds themselves lying
to them? I use the old chestnut 'Got one, thanks...' but I feel a bit
annoyed at having to say that about twenty times a day, when I haven't
actually got one. 

"It's time to teach him to walk. Yeah, teach your baby how to walk away
now...."

I wish I could go somewhere exciting today, rather than ASDA. They've got
Pernod on special. £11.49 for a bottle, which is cheap. It's tempting. Oh,
Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Listen to this!
*claps her hands and jumps up and down*
I might be getting a Mini! I hope my loan will allow me to treat myself to a
small luxury. Just a cheap one mind. But then I'll be happy. And then I'll
show you all. You all mock me but I now the truth. For the truth lies behind
the wheel of a small British car. And I shall have the truth! 
*stands up and shakes her fists at the sky*
Ahem.
I hope B&S play 'Mayfly'. I hope they play it at least eight times. And I
hope Geddes gets naked. And then he and Stu roll about in raspberry jam and
let me lick it off them. Well........it *might* happen.
I'm going before I really offend someone.

Hope none of you know someone with a mullet.

My fascination with William Hague will reap me rewards when I die.

See you all later.

Pamela
xxx
......................................................
I AM OBSESSED WITH BOTTLE GREEN MINI COOPERS. FEAR ME...





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