Sinister: The Penguin Book of Birds' Arses (Large Print Edition)

[Peter Miller]

Foxes don't eat biscuits. They eat chickens. They rip their bastard heads
off and spit feathers all over the tablecloth.

Before the advent of Larry the Frog, Elenita99's best friend was a mobile
phone with an endless stream of French loonies on the other end.

Preston? I've heard the locals are a bit rough. I hope you're all being
polite to these nice old ladies who man the ticket booths at provincial
theatres. Don't forget, you are ambassadors for rock'n'roll. On the website,
poor old Neil says stop
writing to him asking when B&S are going to play in your town. I can
sympathise - "When are you playing in Sidmouth? When are you playing in
Sidmouth?" I'd like to go to the Royal Albert Hall. I'd like to go to
Preston too. Beautiful Bournemouth. And all the other places. I'd like to do
the whole tour. Has
the tour got a name? The Guns'n'Roses tour is called "Chinese Democracy
Starts Now" which suggests to me that they haven't really got over all their
drug problems.

Choo-Choo Charlie sounds like a particularly powerful strain of cocaine.

Which reminds me, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG DAVE!

I think it would be good if everyone met up before the Glasgow gigs in a
pub, especially people who've come a long way. I understand there are some
nice ones near the Barrowlands. Apparently there's a good one just opposite,
really handy, called THE SARACEN'S HEAD. Why doesn't everyone meet up there?

Sister Disco

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