Sinister: And like vultures circling in the sky, I will wait till you are weak and about to die

[sweetie something]

sinister

*//why are you so close, closer than most, to my weakness?\\*

well quite alot actually

firstly and most scary
this has nothing to do with me
but my friend
met this guy from the internet (they had been speaking for months)
and they got on very well
and one thing led to another
led to spending the night together
that was about 7 or 8 months ago
this morning the police came round to her house
asking her about the guy that she had seen all those months ago.
asking her all sorts of questions about when they had been together and what
they had done.

an offer has been made for our house
i dont like strangers coming into my home and looking about
and when they came to my room
i even turned the music down and smiled
i didnt say anything though. i watched the little kids look at my rats, and
secretely hoped theyd put their fingers too near the cage and get bitten. or
at least id get to say that theyd better be careful or theyd get bitten.
and they came back a second time
and they came into my room again. i sat on my bed cross legged with my note
pad, writing. and watched the kids get not too close to my rats again.
and this time i didnt turn the music down so much and when the womans dad
spoke to me, i didnt hear. so i just didnt say anything.
and i had my boa, alcatraz, around my neck.
they didnt come right into my room that time.

my boyfriend has been and gone
oh i got a hello
but now he is away again
for 3 months this time
without even a goodbye.
and i dont have his number now
not that i think ill ever need it again
(even though, officially, we havent split up)
i am releived in some ways
but mostly sad
thinking that thats been almost 10months
and to know for a fact if i had decided to take that i dont care option
sooner
i could have been going out with a much nicer boy
but like always. i thought 'no'. and now its too late.
but even more sad
because,the 10 or so minutes spent alone with him
although i only sat at the computer, and he sat on the floor a bit away
i think. by the way that i wanted to sit next to him, and wanted to hold his
hand
and wanted for him to hold me
that i still have some feelings for him

buts thats maybe just because 10months is a long time
and for 8 months i remained monogomous
but im not sure how i feel at all
i think i might still like him
but im not sure. i dont even having the tiniest wee smidgen of a feeling of
guilt from cheating at all.
and i have as good as announced to the world that i am single
but, if he came back right now.
oh i dont know. i really dont.

those days:
14th, 15th, 16th, and 17th
assuming u know what that means of course

listening, still
sweetie
xox

ICQ #42242252
MSN instant msngr: something_sinister at hotmail.com
AOLim id: IIIsecondcreep
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
everything i do, everything i say, everything i try to be
everything is wrong, everything is right, everything is up to me
everything i am, everything i was, everything i aim to be
everything is black, everything is white, everything is in between


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