Sinister: I'm American. We don't "wank."

[Laura Llew]

Me: Here are the Thesauruses
Clueless Customer #1: No, I'm looking for a book of synonyms.

Me: So, it is a nonfiction book?
Clueless Customer #2: No, it's a true story.

Before you start to snicker at the lack of mute inglorious Miltons that 
abound in a little bookshop in western Carolina, may I remind you that 
Sinister is its own little source of disturbing quotage from people. Yes, 
yes.  Why just a few months ago a sinisterette posted about how she loves to 
go grocery shopping because it's so "erotic." With the exception of a few 
family reunions and the four years which I lived in Utah, I haven't been 
around the mentally ill very much but I do believe this girl might benefit 
from extensive psychiatric treatment. (Then again, from my experience with 
Erotic Poetry I'm beginning to think that the most popular definition of 
"erotic" is simply "bad" to which I apologize profusely if this was her 
intention in the use of this word.)  Second to only cruise ships, Grocery 
Stores would be the best (or is that worst?) setting for my own personal 
Hades. Because of this, I end up making comments like I did today while 
passing the produce department. "In Hell, everyone most likely has to eat 
watermelon naked" which only began a subsequent conversation about the book 
Cooking In The Nude and what dishes would not be included in such a book.  
(Trust me, the ones which would be included are worse - Chicken Porno Bleu, 
Promiscuous Prawns, Vealing Lusty, Fondue Me, etc.)
See why I hate grocery shopping?

***Trivia Time!***
Does this have anything to do with Belle and Sebastian, you, or anything you 
care about?                       Not a chance!
Does it have to do with MEMEMEMEMEMEME!        Of course!

        Now for our sponsored random Laura Llew Trivia Tidbit:
        I have taken over 20 college credit hours in Religion
        which is enough for a minor at most universities.

OK, so this actually doesn't even mean a thing and I didn't even go to 
church last Sunday. However, I did watch a good bit of the Simpsons' 
Marathon so CLOSE ENOUGH. I'm certifiably capable enough to be able to tell 
you that Matthew 'Fire and Brimstone' Henderson was correct in his summation 
of:

"Jonathan in the Bible was David's best friend growing up. He was also King 
Saul's son, which made him kind of an enemy."

See, aren't you glad we have a good ole' Southern boy on the list now to 
keep us on the straight and narrow(minded)? You can find all of this in 
first Samuel and I'm glad this is the original source of B&S new title 
rather than the other suggested Correlli's Mandolin. (Though personally I 
have delusions of mediocrity myself. I always set low standards for myself 
and consistently fail to achieve them.) I always appreciate biblical 
allusions (aka: delusions). Like when I was recommended the book "Eyeless in 
Gaza", I was ecstatic to connect that the title was referring to Samson. 
Personally, I can think of many things I would rather have than a Jonathan 
to my David - like an Ahab to my Jezebel, a Corianton to my Isabel, a Samson 
to my Delilah (snip, snip), or a Joseph to my Potiphar's Wife.
Too bad I'll most likely just end up with a Dr. Jekyll to my Mr. Hyde.

Speaking of Hot Hydes, no one told me WILL PORTER is going to be at the NYC 
picnic!!!! I'll be there with Belles on!!! Southern ones!! Honey dripping 
blondes on each arm and maybe one riding piggy back (which might be hard to 
manage in a hoop skirt but us Southerners are capable of ANYTHING!)  Maybe 
I'll bring a Sebastian too for good measure!

Ok, I'm lying like a politician (with my Intern on my desk). On Thursday, 
I'm leaving for Chicago for work instead of NYC for play :(  What's worse is 
that I'm utterly depleted of mix tapes to listen to. Beware that I'm making 
a list of people under the "All Bark and That Bites" category who talked 
schmack about their mix tape abilities and then were UNABLE TO PERFORM. 
Though I can't complain about the entries so far. Perhaps you're just scared 
that Rachel Walther or Jer will beat you out. Wimps!

Laura: I can’t think of any happy German literature
A Clever Bookshop Boy: Yeah, even the fairy tales are Grimm

I could be dreaming--
Laura


PS- Stop being mean to BIG STU. I bet he has the best *seat* in the house
PPS - Happy belated birthday to Chrstiaan!!!, Tamara, and Ralph Waldo 
Emerson. Plus, a happy premature birthday to Walt Whitman
PPPS - Sorry, about the lack of "flow" (opposed to "Flo". Kiss my Grits!) in 
this post. Halfway through writing it I became depressed and started 
watching MTV (or maybe I started watching MTV and became depressed). Thus, 
if this ends up choppy and disjointed just be glad I'm writing and not 
reparing a broken bone.
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