Sinister: On the last bus out of town

[JENOWL22 at xxx.com]

Hewwo,

Well, I've been in Fife for the weekend, staying with Igor and Jaz. Did you 
miss me?

It was swell. On the first night (which I have very little memory of) I drank 
too much and Moleksin thought it was swell that I could play the guitar, and 
I threw up everywhere (and my sick was bright purple, how cool is that? It 
must be the ribena) and all over everything and everyone, and passed out for 
a bit, and ended up being put to bed in a urine (not mine) stained bed in a 
pool of my own vomit. And some boy's girlfriend complained that he found me 
attractive, when I clearly wasn't at all attractive given that I was spewing 
my innards up all over the floor. 

Then I woke up the next morning and felt SWELL and NOT HUNGOVER which was 
grate. 

Swell is a word I've picked up. It sort of entered my head and ate up the 
rest of my vocabulary so I have no choice but to use it. That's my excuse 
anyway. I like the sound of it. It's swell.

On Saturday we broke into the grounds of the Glenrothes mental asylum (which 
looked a lot like the house in resident evil) and had a picnic there. I was 
expecting something really cool when we got through all the barbed wire and 
fencing, but it was actually really scary. The place was overgrown and next 
to a burnt out cottage and the house was all big with bars over the window 
and you could hear screams and insane laughter and stuff. It lacked swellness.

Also, my bag is now covered in menchies. Cool people like Ally Cook and Carey 
wrote stuff on it before, but it had to go in the wash after my highly 
exciting "lets go out with sinister people and be sick over everything I own" 
spree. So now it says stuff like "AIDS is swell", "I fukc babies", "Igor 
loves young girls (14-16)" and "STD's- Gotta catch 'em all". It's very cool, 
especially when muslims sit next to you on the bus and read it very 
dissaprovingly. Also there's a tampon covered in red felt tip pen dangling 
from it which looks quite real.

I stole a foot and mouth sign and a sign that warns people about horses 
having anti theft devices. The horse one's in my room, but the foot and mouth 
one I had to give to some girl who was slitting her wrists over how grate it 
was.

And the grate thing about spending the weekend with Anal Cunt fans is that 
you can do anything really embarrassing or sound ignorant and they'll go 
"Don't worry, she's a Belle and Sebastian fan" and people just accept that 
and pity me.

Sorry, i have nothing interesting to talk about except my exciting journey to 
Fife - Land of the Inbreds.

Oh oh oh I have a lot more badges now. My sleeves and back are covered too 
and its amazing. And I got a My Little Pony badge AND a Captain Planet badge.

I had a long bus journey on the last bus out of town, and I listened to Lazy 
Line Painter Jane because I found it again (I lost it), and Monica Queen just 
drowns Struan out and its not fair. It's a grate and swell song though. 

The Aislers Set are good too. The guy who sings about Chicago and New York on 
The Last Match sounds rather like Struan.

And I like Astrid and I don't care if that's uncool. Their last album is 
superbouncyhappydaisychainmakingilikecheesesogivemeanicelolly kind of pop 
that everyone should love because if they don't they're clearly suicidal.

Did I tell you about what happened to me about last week? It was so surreal. 
I was with my friends and wearing flares and my badge jacket and these hard 
kids walked by and one of the girls (you know the ones with the really bad 
looking gold chains that say their names on it in really cheesy letters, and 
the  soveriegn rings and the blinding white tracksuits who would be in no 
danger if they got hit by lightning because all their jewelery is very 
obviously made of plastic) said "Aw look at the states of her", and I wasn't 
in the mood and I just said "Oh and could you be wearing any more fake gold?" 
or something incredibly (not) witty like that. And all of a sudden her 
boyfriend (or lay for the night) stepped out and twisted his chain round his 
hand (the East Kilbride resident's weapon of choice) and said "Haw, do you 
wanna do this now?". And I just burst out laughing because I just couldn't 
believe that he'd said that. And then I realised that he was actually about 
to hit me with a chain, and he was quite drunk and he was with about 5 of his 
friends and I was with teenyboppers who would see me get killed rather than 
back me up in any kind of confrontation, so I made a quick retreat and 
giggled and waved from a (very) safe distance.

If I've said that story already then I've got a very bad remembering head and 
also no sleep.

I should go now and stop being a blip.

Hugs,
Jen 

Ps. Swell.


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