Sinister: The State that I Am In.

[erin]

I'm all for new experiences;  Experiences like getting 
drunk at frat parties are new.  So that's precisely why I 
went frat hopping last night;  Something new.  
Everything must be experienced at least once (except 
perhaps eating sauerkraut, I know without having 
tried it that it can't be enjoyable).  For someone who 
never drinks, I was remarkably able to consume.  2 
beers, a Zima, and 5 straight alcohol shots (does 
anyone really drink tequila straight?  I wouldn't 
recommend it).  It didn't make me feel adult, but it did 
make me feel like I'm living up (or down) to society's 
expectations of me as a teenager.  And a Uni student.

No hangover, but no sleep + 2 shots of espresso in 
the morning made for an interesting philosophy 
lecture, especially given as how the prof kept using 
the phrase "The state that I am in" ; "The state that it is 
in" ;  "The state that you are in".  Understandably I was 
in a state of semi-dazed Belle & Sebastian 
reflectionism.  I can heartily endorse it as a nice state 
of consciousness to be in.  Fodor & Belle & 
Sebastian.  Who would’ve thought?

I must agree that crushes are wonderful things, even 
when they hurt.  It’s a sort of revitalizing pain.  
Sometimes I forget that I exist and need that pain or 
that passion to reaffirm my humanity.  Sinister 
crushes must  be some of the best; I have never had 
a boy who understood Belle & Sebastian, no matter 
how many mix tapes I made.  I still send tapes to the 
one I left, but he still listens to his trip-hop and cannot 
understand The State That I Am In.  Being the most 
prosaically mundane and un-hipster Belle & 
Sebastian fan out there, I can probably assume I 
won’t ever have a boy who understands that aspect of 
me (admittedly a very big & important aspect), or am I 
wrong to assume that all other B&S fans are 
terminally cooler than I am?  It usually feels that way.  
(No worries, though, I am perfectly comfortable with 
my terminal unhip-ness).

I haven’t managed yet to ascertain if there are any 
other Sinisterians in the pacific northwest.  There 
must be; now who are you?

Peace, Love and Poptarts!
erin

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