Sinister: sometimes even cinnamon tea doesn't help...

[Ola Szkudlapska]

                                 oh no,
                     i caught an autumn low..!

hello dear sinisters,

i love cinnamon. i love everything cinnamon. that's why i always enjoyed
reading the narrow wizard's posts...  "with that the narrow wizard waggled
his bushy eyebrows and disappeared in a flash of blue flame leaving behind
only a faint smell of cinnamon" -- how lovely!! :) alas, today even drinking
cinnamon tea didn't alleviate my strangestrange mood. worth to note i drank
it while listening to 'sally cinnamon' by the roses! still nothing...

autumn makes me so melancholy sometimes... looking out of the window i see
the trees, their leaves a mixture of yellow and orange; grey buildings under
grey clouds... and instead of singing 'orange crush' by r.e.m. i just want
the sun to come out.

for the past couple of days i've been wandering round the house after
school, in that not-having-the-will-to-do-anything mood... ooh, i've just
written 'will' there - well, apologies to all Wills and Will-Wannabes, but
i'm in the Rachel Rovers team, teehee. :)

my name's ola. rachola. and i'm the goalie ;)

school's been fine so far.. at least a change after having to stay at home
for 3 horror weeks of silly illness. i still get tired really easily,
though, which is mighty annoying. whatever you do darlings, avoid going down
with mononucleosis. ;)

i've started reading 'lord jim' by joseph conrad.. he was polish, you know?
:) he changed his name, which was a good decision i guess - i doubt if he'd
have been published a lot, had he signed his works 'korzeniowski' rather
than 'conrad' ;) perhaps i should change my surname too, then i could become
the female... err, edward lear? :) i'm quite good at writing nonsense
rhymes, i can easily see myself as the Queen of Limericks. and why not? ;)

i've had a huge row with mum today. we just can't seem to get along ok, for
more than 2 weeks anyway. she's made a few allusions that perhaps it would
be better if i lived with my dad. i'm not sure if she really meant it.
that's stability in my life...

i watched 2 documentaries last night. one was about afghanistan and the
taliban ruling, the other about freedom fights in east timor... some of the
scenes were *so* cruel and shocking..  i couldn't take it all in...  i know
it's a cliche, but all the wars and conflicts and people's cruelty make me
worry about where the world is heading. 'come armageddon', as morrissey
sang. or something ;)

in the 18th century in france there lived a utopianist named charles
fourier. among other things, he claimed that if people helped each other and
co-operated for each-other's benefit, the world would change as well. for
example, a lion would become an anti-lion, and there would be lemonade in
the seas. i find it sweet :)

yes, i am a fan of utopianism. ;) i set out to change the world by blowing
bubbls in the streets. mind you, it makes some people actually smile(!) :)

just one last thing and my random rambling is over.

i need a boyfriend.

but not some seduce-disappear guy, not again. and preferably the tall,
skinny type or a lookalike of jónsi from sigur rós. or ken chu ;) (i could
be one of your dream-girls, ken. i've got green eyes ;)

...the seduce-disappear guy said i had fantastic eyes. he also said some
other things. and i fell for his damn smoothtalk. stupisstupidstupid.

but that was 2 months ago.

time to move on and plot a revenge.

erm, sorry.
i should be back to my cheerful not-mentioning-boring-personal-stuff self
soon(ish). otherwise you'll all hate me.

love,
rachola (lalala)

ps. *hugs* to rachel oj and other sini darlings in love-distress. i hope
everything turns out fine for you.
psps. also *hugs* to all other sinister darlings, i wouldn't want you to
feel left out :)



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