Sinister: The Masterplan

[John John]

dear sinister,

i was sitting on the sofa on the Thursday morning, passing the time before 
setting off on my epic ten minute journey of dodging young bucks off the 
neddish clans, and to avoid the mud river – called the woods – on my route 
to school.  i looked hesitantly at the clock, because i knew it was time.  
and i wasn't ready!

gulping down my Ricicles (usually regarded as blasphemous, but was made an 
exception in this case), i had to run and put my shoes on, do a magic trick 
with my tie to make it look reasonable, and grab my duffle-coat to depart 
for the usual morning at school.

as is probably guessed by now, it wasn't a usual day morning.  the time on 
the clock when i left said eight-twenty, when i usually leave at 
eight-thirtyfive.  i was wondering if the early departure would be worth it 
as i managed to pass through the woods unscathed: my fringe was still in 
front of my eyes, not way past my ears; my hood was behaving itself for a 
change and not making me look like a silly poo; my trousers weren't 
splattered by the mud monster.  today had to be the day.

before heading to school i detoured to our local Alldays.  the transaction 
took a matter of seconds, as did actually getting to school afterwards.  but 
the seconds drastically augmented as i walked into the building, with the 
steps to the maths department looming.  i stopped, breathed long and hard, 
and decided to go down.

she wasn't there.  my heart stopped dead as i wondered what happened.  she 
is always there, a few minutes before her friends.  i sighed and decided to 
go and see my partner in crime and her boyfriend.

they told me she'd walk past in a while with her friend, Angela.  i prepared 
myself.  all those weeks of butterflies, of panic, of eating through 
countless packets of lovehearts for them never to contain the right one, and 
for me to be nearly sick from consuming too much sugar in a small amount of 
time.  it would all stand for the next few moments, when she'd walk along.. 
with her friend.

her friend.  that was going to be a problem.  i started whimpering.  i knew 
her friends would know anyway, but i didn't want them to witness my 
downfall.

and there she was.  walking down the corridor with her gorgeous we smile, 
with her perfectly serene face that paired perfectly with her tropical sea 
blue eyes.  with her amazingly gorgeous brown corduroy coat.  a cry came 
instinctively from my friend:

'Angela! i want to show you something!!!'

…yet again my heart felt like it halted from all motion as she walked past 
m, while i hid under the window.  i walked up beside her, and avoiding any 
eye contact, said my excuses, and gave her the sweet with the message…

                                   CUTIE PIE

i repeated my excuses, and ran. down two separate corridors, so that i was 
well away from her.  i heard an 'aw' before i legged it, which probably made 
me run faster.

as fast or slow as those fifteen minutes were, it didn't work.  The 
Masterplan failed. as much as my friend Lynsey convinced me it would work 
(the only person to know my plan) it didn't, as the same evening at our 
Halloween party, i plucked up the courage after hours to ask her to dance 
with me, and my bestest attempts to make her smile or giggle ended up in 
vein as “i'll be right back” really meant “sorry” and i never saw her for 
the rest of the evening….

and that is why i am never chasing a girl again.

johnjohn x








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