Sinister: engines of gloom and affection

[stacey dahling]

"The sky is green, and there is no book to tell us what it means. it has 
never stopped raining."

So it’s Monday, meaning I could have gone to buy a toast maker. But I 
didn’t. It’s like I revel in the suffering or something.
I’ve been floating in and out of the kitchen, opening cupboards, staring at 
a handful of base ingredients, looking for anything that does not need 
mixing or cutting or heating or altering in any way. So it’s been peanut 
butter. At least it’s protein, non? Last night, I had to get my ass in gear 
and cook something. I mean, really now. So I sautéed an onion, added some 
sugar water in an attempt at caramelization, and ate it. By itself. Me and a 
bowl of onions. Eventually, I also found some potatoes under the sink and 
made some chips, which I covered in salt and vinegar and Parmesan cheese. 
Yum.
Dave is worried about me. He wants to come over with some tofu and 
vegetables and make me something healthy. Oh, how I wish he could! But he is 
in Washington, D.C. and I am here. Even the phone company makes it nearly 
impossible to bridge the distance.
I’ll break out of this funk eventually. I have a job interview of sorts on 
Wednesday. It’s for a babysitting/tutoring job for a pair of 8-year-old twin 
girls, who are described by their very own mother as “difficult.” I’m 
frightened. But for only seven hours a week I would be making enough money 
to pay the rent, and I would have enough time left over to do the job I came 
here to do (which does not pay the rent) - journalism. Although I’m 
beginning to think travel writing is not necessarily journalism.
I’ve decided to do something drastic. I am staying away from #sinister for 
an entire week. It was Dave’s idea. And it is a damn good one. Let’s see if 
I can do it. Unfortunately, it means I will likely write too many posts and 
send out too many unsolicited emails. So if you all get personal commentary 
from me about your latest posts, do not be afraid. Support me as I try to 
shake this addition. Yes.
I painted today, too. That took up a few hours. Then it sounded like perhaps 
this three-day monsoon was over, so I went to the front room balcony to 
check, and I staggered back in shock when I saw that it was night. How did 
this happen? I was actually considering going to buy a toast maker or some 
food, but I looked at my watch and it read: 6:30. Damn. Well, I guess that’s 
what happens when you wake up at 3 p.m. Shameful. I must do something about 
that.
So now I still have many, many hours to kill. What shall I do? I allowed 
myself an hour online to check emails and read posts - there were tons! 
Thank you boys and girls - and now I’m at a loss. I may actually write 
something productive. I haven’t written anything for publication in more 
than a month, mainly because I have failed to land an assignment. But I 
stumbled upon a new travel web site that looks really promising and decided 
I want to contribute to it, even though I won’t get paid. I need to write 
again. Even if it’s just for practice. And it’s kind of like being 
published, in the sense that I can put it on my CV and add the articles to 
my clip file. Sad that it comes down to that. But really, it’s just as much 
that I want to feel part of something worthwhile.
My friend Michelle and I almost took over a prominent web-based music zine. 
It was her idea. She had been contributing to it regularly on the side as 
she worked days alongside me at the newspaper. The owner announced he was 
going to retire the zine after 20 years because he couldn’t keep it up 
anymore. So Michelle got a crazy idea to take over. It would be a pretty 
major project - this was like a small business, and this guy’s full-time job 
- and she started writing up legal contracts and letters of intention and 
all that. She had to name a board of directors, and we recruited a fellow 
writer and music guru and a web page designer to join our enterprise as we 
planned a buy-out. A buy-out! Insanity. I was excited to be a part of it, 
even though I knew it would suck away all my free time and not provide much 
supplementary income. But it didn’t matter because I would have a product, 
something to show for it. It never happened, obviously. The owner ultimately 
decided against letting us buy the magazine’s name and all associated with 
it. There were disagreements about copyright and use of archives and all 
that. It was complicated business, it was. Ah well.
I’ve had fleeting thoughts about starting a publication of some sort. I 
mean, what a resource there is at our disposable were someone to start a 
sinister zine or something.  It seems submissions would be remarkably easy 
to come by, written and otherwise. Hmm. Printing is the problem. Yuck. Ah 
well.
I should stop thinking about such things and just work.
Or go to a film. Yes. To a French film with Greek subtitles, which will 
really do my head in. I know neither language well enough to follow 
conversations, but at least the visuals are supposed to be spectacular.
Nighty night all. Be good.
And tell someone you love them. And why.

MWAH!
~dahling

PS: I wrote this at 7 p.m., well before the eXtreme elvis post. It’s now 
2:30 a.m. and I feel silly even bothering to send this now, for… FUCKING 
HELL KYLA. THAT WAS FANTASTIC. What description, what form. Wow. I’m truly 
in awe.


_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+