Sinister: Who plays me: A younger, less attractive and drunk Melanie Griffith. The soundtrack: Styx.

[Richard Gillanders]

stop it.

I haven't slept in the last forty-three hours.  or so.
 so.  some might think I'm dedicated.  I'd try to stop
them.  but I'm too weak.

I have a critique today at two o'clock.  that's in
three and a half hours or so.  I was supposed to show
my tutors a lot of work last tuesday.  but I didn't. 
today's the final crit.  I'm supposed to have a lot of
work to show.  but I don't.  I've done a lot of work. 
or it feels like I have.  I think I left it just...ten
hours too late.  silly me.




madeleine, not wanting to promote vanity, said:
'Instead I shall end by saying I am indifferent to all
of you.'

all of me?  surely there must be SOMETHING about me
that you like.  that WAS written for me.  hey?

or.  ass.  u.  me.

hm.  yip.




jump.

almost carrying on with your vanity theme.  or. 
RATHER.  big stuart gardiner's vanity theme.  and. 
well.  gosh.  isn't HE great?  and modest too, I hear.
 a rare quality.

almost carrying on.
a wee while ago astrid wiezell [yeah?] had a terrific
day.  she said 'oh how lovely it was!'

I read this as 'oh how lovely I was!'.  I laughed. 
because.  what a great thing to say!  then I read it
again.  and I laughed some more.

she has a photo.  her opinion her appearance in it? 'I
think I look too happy'...and 'but what the hell'. 
yes indeed.  what the hell?  that made me laugh too.

she kinda reminds me of assia wevill.  but not in
proper ways.



talk of people far away.

it isn't even a suggestion.  although it looks like it
could be.

now.  I've decided.
it is a suggestion.  or something a little stronger.




crushvoting: isn't the anonymity a wee bit...?  hey. 
I wondered who had sent.  but.  then.  I stopped.

self-control.

wow.
yeah right.





now, also, now, it's true: you can stop someone from
thinking.  

hah.  no: ...thinking in a disillusioned or embittered
way.  simply by telling them not to not to think in a
disillusioned or embittered way.  or.  it's false.  I
forget.  people that tell me my memory isn't that bad!

who are you?  I can't remember.


perhaps I talked to you on the phone...  
I...seem to recall.  
nope...  ...yes
I recall: I do remember calling.


who are you?



despite my intense fatigue.  I'm sort of not so
unhappy.  yes.  but.  what the hell?

love,
richard.

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