Sinister: how to get by getting by by getting got by.

[Richard Gillanders]

ROBERT DONLAN said 'Dont give up on chasing girls, cos
soon you will be too old to chase girls. Once you hit
20 you find yourself becoming too sensible to chase.'.

and here's me just considering starting...

tell me it's never too late.



well.  two in two.  too.


and the real 'reason'?

I mentioned having a critique when I posted last.
yesterday.
I was awake for forty seven hours beforehand.  I
turned up at a quarter to one.  loaded with drawings
and all.  looking like I'd done a lot of work.  I'm
sure.  perhaps even looking a bit like an architect. 
then I discovered the criticising had begun at nine
a.m. and was scheduled to end at one p.m..  I caught
the tail-end of the last person in my group.  and I
didn't get criticised.  except about my time-keeping. 
so.  I was there.  still with my coat on.  still with
my bag on my back.  still with my rolls of drawings in
hand.  under arm.  and an inane [I'm sure],
sleep-deprived, not-actually-concerned-anymore look on
my face.  with appropriate perspiration.  I sat down
by one of my tutors.  the one with the glasses.  the
one whose eyes seem like holes.  and I smiled at him. 
and told him I wasn't sure where I was.  and that it
was unfortunate.  and that I wouldn't be submitting. 
and he said something about 'always excuses'.  and I
nodded.  I'm surprised he didn't say 'always nodding'.
 then he said we should meet next week.  to...sort it
out.  I went back to my flat.  and after fifty waking
hours.  I managed only ten asleep.  and woke again in
the early hours of the morning unable to sleep.  I do
it to myself.  and I can't figure out why.  I have to
concoct a believable excuse for tuesday.  what can I
say?  the computers in the department are no good? 
I've been bothered by factors outwith my influence?  I
got new shoes and they hurt my ankles?

elsewhere in my life.  things are pretty okay.  maybe
that's my problem; I have elsewhere in my life. 
perhaps I should git devoted.  or something.

tsk.

bye-bye,
richard.

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