Sinister: don't you aim your spear this way!

[stacey dahling]

Ok, so it's nearly 6 a.m. and I was determined to go to sleep before the sun 
rose, but Jimmy Gilmer's post made me come directly here instead and run 
with the cheesy pick-up line thread.
Oh lord.

Oddly enough, today I was actually meowed at. Yes! A random boy in the 
street slowed down, looked directly at me, and said "Me-ow." I was confused. 
Was that a compliment? Was he calling me catty? Or a pussycat? Or? Coral 
giggled and said, "It was a CAT CALL. it was!" In that case, it was better 
than some of the other ones I've gotten recently.
Case in point: The elderly man who could hardly walk who stopped me to ask: 
"Douleueis?" Which means, "Do you work?" I got all insulted and said, "Yes, 
of course!" He had started to walk away, but hearing this, jumped and ran 
back with a grin on his face. Then it all came together and I screamed NO! 
and ran away. See, it was his clever little way of asking me if I was a 
prostitute. Oh yeah.
Usually, however, it's the skanky young men who dangle their wares for me so 
tactfully. Many of them roam the streets of Athens, trying to pick up women, 
especially foreigners. They have a name: Komakia, or spearfishermen. A very 
apt metaphor, especially considering the greek word for vagina is literally 
"bay of woman." Anyway, I digress. My favorite story about the komakia is 
that they once tried to unionize and demanded recognition and benefits from 
the state because, they argued, they provided an invaluable service - they 
bouyed up the tourism industry by enticing single European women to the 
country. I don't think they were successful, even with such stellar 
rhetoric.
The rhetoric they use on the street is even better. Usually, they just talk 
to you in English. Not very original. But sometimes you hear some gems. My 
favorite was: "You break my eyes!" Um. Yeah. So complimentary. The youngest 
komaki I've been chatted up by seemed to be all of 8 years old. He said, in 
English: "Hey hot stuff." Frightening.
As annoying as the komakia can be, at least they tend to limit their 
advances to bad pick-up lines. It's the public masturbators who trouble me. 
And I've had the pleasure of encountering not one or two, but at least five 
of these characters. Wanking off in my general direction - in parks, on 
beaches, in the street. Yes.

Side note: i have been known to use some embarassing pick-up lines, 
completely unintentionally. The worst was: "Has anyone ever told you you 
look like a Renaissance painting?" Oh yes. I employed this gem on a boy with 
delicate blond curls and a harsh nose who seriously looked like he should be 
leaning against a desk with a dog at his feet or something. I stared at him 
throughout a mandatory Classics department meeting, amazed at the 
similarity, and thought he light like to know about it, so i chased him out 
of the room and bombarded him on the stairwell. His response: "That is THE 
strangest thing anyone has ever said to me," and he looked a bit frightened. 
It was only afterwards, when I proudly told my art friend what i had done, 
that she burst out laughing and said "that is the worst pick-up line i have 
ever heard!" Eeps! I was so embarassed when i realized how horrified this 
poor chap must have been.
another time, at a party at my apartment, i was talking to a boy everyone 
was trying to set me up with and asked him if he liked frank sinatra, "cause 
i have him on in my room right now." which i did, oddly. it wasn't 
necessarily an invite. luckily, he didn't think so either. but my friend 
nearby started laughing insanely and yelled to the whole room to inform 
everyone about what a charmer i was.

ok
that's all
i must go to bed now
oooh btw:
I GOT A TOAST MAKER today! finally! and it's shiny!
also, I DID IT! i lasted a whole week without #sinister. well, not a 
7-day-week but... yeah... i went out more and wrote more and..mmm..errr.. 
stuff...
i should sleep. sun. shining. shit.

MWAH!
~dahling


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