Sinister: Have You HUGED A Belle And Sebastian Fan Today?

[Laura Llew]

"The industry of Mr. Sinclair Lewis is a thing to marvel at, to ponder of a 
white night, and, if such is your way, to hoist high as an example. To my 
own admittedly slanted vision, industry ranks with such sour and spinster 
virtues as thrift, punctuality, levelheadedness, and caution. I think that 
Aldous Huxley utters the loud truth when he says, in Point Counter Point, 
that industry can never substitute for talent. There exists, especially in 
the American mind, a sort of proud confusion between the two. A list of our 
authors who have made themselves most beloved, and therefore, most 
comfortable financially, shows that it is our national joy to mistake for 
the first-rate, the fecund rate."

Don't take my silence over the past month as a sign of having company, 
moping about miserably, and generally being swamped in work. Rather think of 
it as rather merely following the sagacious wisdom of Dorothy Parker.

Rachel Ranted:
>ON A HAPPY NOTE, Laura Llew's gentleman caller, Mr. Breams wrote his >tale 
>of being in the presence of said goddess* awww!It's so cute!

Ooh, a gentleman caller - I always wanted one of those. A vapid sweaty Jim 
to my delicate bloom of a Laura. My favorite scene is all of literature 
comes from when a Laura is preparing for such a boy:

Mother: No, wait! Wait just a moment - I have an idea!
Laura: What is it then?
[Mother produces two powder puffs which she wraps in handkerchiefs and 
stuffs in Laura's bosom.]
Laura: Mother, what are you doing?
Mother: They call them gay deceivers!
Laura: I won't wear them!
Mother: You will!
Laura: Why should I?
Mother: Because, to be painfully honest, your chest is flat.

You can work in a bookshop all you want - but it's still going to be just 
the books which are well stacked.

>LAURA LLEW wrote earlier this month: "for Halloween when I shall be 
> >Isadora Quagmire http://www.lemonysnicket.com/tc_isadora.html) and >yes, 
>I plan to do that exact expression for the entire day and speak
>only in couplets." I am curious to know how that works out for you >miss 
>Llew!

Due to still being in a haze from the night before, I opted to only dress up 
as Isadora in the evening. As talented as my hair is, it still obeys the 
laws of physics so my costume wasn't completely perfected. However, I was 
wearing great striped socks and I'm sure it made up for it. I spoke in 
couplets the entire time I was out in the evening which was great(ly 
annoying).  I had wanted to prepare a couple of couplets beforehand - maybe 
lift one from the Virgin Suicides like:
The trees like lungs filling with air
My sister, the mean one, pulling my hair

This is only because, "All the lads I've met in cupid's deadlock - were 
shall we say?- born out of wedlock" didn't exactly work.

Yes, I had a sinister visitor for a couple of weeks. He was used to being 
around a lot of people and I'm used to being by myself. So, I whipped out 
all of my multiple personalities for him and then pretended he didn't exist. 
Oddly enough, it worked. I also spent copious amounts of time being 
continually impressed by how the mere drop of his Australian accent would 
make people swoon and paved the way for us getting free food and tickets to 
a sold out show. Yes! My first show! I fell asleep. And they say I'm not a 
scenester...

The Real Jimmy G (http://www.gocontinental.com/photos/gilmer_j_2a.jpg   What 
you didn't think the secret would get out) crooned for the chorus:
>Her: "I've decided I want to make out with one boy in every country"
>Me: "How's that working out for you?"
>Her: "Pretty good so far, though I don't know anyone in the 
>Netherlands....so, what are *you* doing tonight?"

I wonder how successful she was. In college, I had the goal of going out 
with a boy from each state but I stopped once I got to 35 states and decided 
the mid-west wasn't worth it. (Except for Missouri because there was no way 
I was missing the SHOW ME state.) Working in a bookshop I'm not exactly 
overloaded with suave boys so my best (worst) pickup line was more of a 
pickup gesture when a boy left me a copy of John Gray's Mars & Venus On A 
Date. What is one to do when given a DATING book? I mean was the boy trying 
to tell me that I needed help in that area. Was it a hint?  Does he - HEAVEN 
FORBID - expect me to read it and discuss it with him? Instead I believe I'm 
going to give him the book, "Women are from Venus Men Are From Hell" which 
has great quotes in it like, "Ever since Eve gave Adam the apple, there has 
been a misunderstanding between the sexes about gifts." (Nan Robertson)

This post is going to be long. I can feel my bum getting sore already.

I had an entire rant ready for the whole List Crush Debate of 2001 - 
beginning with the fact that even I (or is it - especially I) can seem 
appealing with thousands of miles away. However, I shall steer away from 
such debacles and leave you instead with a poem by Yeats which I'm going to 
dedicate to Miss Fruitloop:

Never give all the heart, for love
Will hardly seem worth thinking of
To passionate women if it seem
Certain, and they never dream
That it fades out from kiss to kiss;
For everything that's lovely is
But a brief, dreamy. Kind delight.
O never give the heart outright,
For they, for all smooth lips can say,
Have given their hearts up to the play.
And who could play it well enough
If deaf and dumb and blind with love?
He that made this knows all the cost,
For he gave all his heart and lost.


For everything that's lovely is
But a brief, dreamy. Kind delight--
Laura

*And to think boys usually have to have had a couple before before they 
start calling me Goddess and boy did it while completely sober.
PS - Hot Chocolate Chugs out to Fairweather Farewell Farrell - the only 
person EVER who has been as obsessed with hot chocolate as I am and 
appreciates a little *panache*
PPS - Vel if you're going to send poems that have never been translated into 
English knowing I'll fall in love with them, then you'd best be prepared to 
become a full time translator for me. I'd hate to find out you were a tease.

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