Sinister: The Rachel Breakfast Club script

[Rachel fruitloop]

***cue "Don't Chu" by Simple Minds***
< a shot of a busy Pasadena street >
< cut to 3 sini-kids in a car stuck in traffic somewhere along the
Interstate 5 >
< cut to a montage of plastic popes >
< a locker with slow graffitti that reads "open this locker and you
die fag!!!">
< Kitsch pictures on a wall like 1940's era cuties in a spaghetti
eating contest >
< a wooden banister with "I'm eating my head" carved in it >
< cut to 2 sini-kids speeding down the interstate and talking about
the owners of a mail-order company >

Enter Rachel Fruitloop and Ernie "Will" Cloves. They were told that
part of the party had already checked in and may have been waiting in
the bar area.

***Cue "Fire In The Twilight" by Wang Chung***
Ernie and Fruitloop went running through the restaurant trying to
find the other Sinisters, but they were nowhere to be found. they
changed directions too fast, and tried to avoid the owner and
Rachel's 1980's boots sent her skidding down the hall.  They made it
back to the front of the restaurant, trouble averted.  Soon, Rachel
Cornflake, Katie "Rachel" Cheeriodle and Benny (not part of the
sinister list) arrived.  Ernie Recognized Rachel from the last L.A.
Sinister meetup.
Soon entered Michael Vance.  He joined the group right off, he
recognized the twee-ness.  Then Jose joined in, Rachel Cornflake
recognized him from the last time, too.  Some speculation went on
about whether or not Jennifer Juniper and her friend or Juju Cat
would arrive.  They did not, unfortunately, and they were missed. 
Also, Ryan, Lord of the Nursery (dweller of about 7 weeks now!) was
expected.
Group complaints were made about how hungry everybody was.
Then the overlords, or Hostesses of the restaurant spoke:
"It is now 9:25.  You have exactly 8 hours and 45 minutes to collect
80% of your party before we'll seat you.  And we don't mean a single
person repeated a thousand times.  Any questions?"

Jose turned to the group:
"I got a question: Does Belle & Sebastian know that you raid their
wardrobe?"
Rachel Fruitloop said:
"I'll give you the answer to that Mr. Jose next Southern California
meet-up.  Don't mess with a red bull young man, you'll get the red
horns"

Enter Ryan, fashionably late. and hungry. He was updated on the
status of our party and talked to the overlord hostesses again.
Rachel Fruitloop hid the necklace that Katie Cheeriodle made for her
out of fruitloops. Rachel Cornflake bit her nails.
Ernie quips: "You keep eating your hand, you're not going to be
hungry for dinner"

The party was FINALLY seated. Some very cheeky waiters came by and
pretended to be trying to get our orders.
Waiter: "What's your poison?" *silence* "What do you drink?" *blank
stares* Ok, forget I asked.
Rachel Fruitloop: "Coke"
Waiter: "Coke? When do you drink Pepsi?"
RFL: "Whenever"
Waiter: "A lot?" *3 others order a soda*
RFL: "tons"
Waiter: "Is that why you're here tonight?"

The waiter went to get drinks and the food order was decided on.
Michael Vance: "What's in there?" *he's vegan*
Katie Cheeriodle: "Guess.  Where's your dinner?"
Benny: "You're wearing it"
Katie Cheeriodle: "You're nauseating!" 
Michael Vance: "Can I eat?"
Benny: "I dunno.  Give it a try" *he also asks who morrissey is but
is only being a pain in the ass and very funny*

Food is ordered and eaten. Ryan made snow on his placemat by
overloading his coffee cup with sugar.  He then poured sugar over two
pieces of bread and mashed corn pops in the middle to make a
sandwich.
The olive and pimento loaf is stuck to a statue somewhere off in the
distance.
<cut to a clock face, The group eats the clock around>

Rachel Cornflake said: "Being Sinister feels pretty good, eh?"

***snapshots are taken as the group leaves the building***

<Cut to the sidewalk outside of the restaurant>
The debate of mobile phones began, and ring tones were transfered
from phone to phone.
Michael Vance: "That's real intelligent"
Jose: "You're right.  It's wrong to destroy music, such fun to ring.
*turns over phone* 'Legal Man' really pumps my nads"
<cue classical music bit>
Rachel Fruitloop: "My love is disital"
***Jose throws mobile phone at RFL***
Ryan Nurserylord: "Speak For Yourself"
Michael Vance: "Do you think I'd speak for you?  I don't even know
your mobile phone number!" 
***everybody laughed.  Michael and Ryan talked technical about video
game design for a good portion of the night.  It was funny that they
didn't both share a passion for mobile phones. The group parted ways
and decided that the trip to the bar would have to wait***

<cut to Rachel Fruitloop's bedroom>
<cue bootlegs of Belle & Sebastian shows.  The sound of Rachel
Cornflake doing the speaking part during "Dirty Dream #2" rang out>
Rachel Cornflake raised her head up from her huddled mass of pyjamas
and cuteness on the floor and could only manage a "WOW!" 
Ernie "Will" Cloves played the best selections from the bootlegs he
brought, holding the dj spot on Rachel Fruitloop's bed as Rachel
Fruitloop sat next to him.  Katie Cheeriodle was seated on the floor
looking sleepy and Benny was near Ernie, seated on the futon chair.
***Benny removed his glasses and they broke.***
Rachel Cornflake: "Screws fall out all the time, the world's an
imperfect place!"
Benny: "aww, show a dick slap some respect!" *it was not a missing
screw. they were broken.*
Katie Cheeriodle: "I expected a little more from a middle distance
runner.  You're not foooling anybody, Benny!  The next screw that
falls out is going to be you."
Benny: "eat my shorts"
Rachel Fruitloop: "what was that?"
Benny: "EAT MY SHORTS"
Rachel FL: "You just bought yourself another Sinister meet-up
mister!"
Rachel Cornflake: "Oh, I'm crushed!"
Rachel FL: "You just bought one more right there!"
Rachel CF: "Well, I'm free the Saturday after that.  Beyond that, I'm
gonna have to check my calendar!"
<Ernie peeked out from under his hood>
***Everybody agreed that we will have to have another Sinister meetup
soon because it was so much fun!***

<cue "Don't Chu" by Simple Minds again>

Friday, November 9th, 2001
Sinister "list date", Pasadena, CA 

Dear Sinister,
We accept the fact that we had to sacrafice a whole friday night for
whatever it was that we did Sinister. And what we did WAS twee.  but
we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we
think we are.  You see us as you want to see us.  In the simplest
terms, in the most conveniant definitions, what we found out is each
one of us is a Brain, a Sexual Athlete, a Basketcase, a Princess and
a Dick Slap. Does that answer your question?
Sincerely yours,
The Rachel Breakfast Club

***still shot of fist in the air silhouetted against the sky.  Roll
credits.  fade to black.***

-THE END-











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 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
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