Sinister: Sinister Christmas Present Exchange Or How Laura Got Even More Mix Tapes

Tue Nov 13 04:14:46 GMT 2001

I hate Thanksgiving. Don't worry it's not because of principle so I'm not 
about to start off on a rant of "Dear Lord, thank you for all our material 
possessions we have and for letting us whiteys slaughter all the Native 
Americans while we steal their tribal lands and gorge ourselves like pigs, 
even though children in Asia are being napalmed."

No, I just generally hate how my house is lent to strangers for one day and 
I have to suffer under the restraints of acting as if I'm a charismatic 
outgoing hostess. Last year as I was being ushered into the front room by my 
mother to talk to our guests (two of which - suspiciously - were males who 
were my age, either one of which my mother would just happen to be ecstatic 
if I liked, dated, married, and ended up having kids with as I popped out 
the grandchildren like an easy bake oven to her welcoming arms) I saw my 
chance. Some loud bang occurred in the kitchen and as my mother flurried off 
to see what was wrong I slipped out the door, slid into my car, and was soon 
careening over the curves of my mountain road with no thoughts of social 
gatherings. I ended up in South Carolina sneaking up to the third floor of 
the bookstore and by the faint glimmers coming in from the skylight bonding 
with David Sedaris, another North Carolinian whose family puts the eak! in 
phreak!, by reading Me Talk Pretty One Day. It was the best Thanksgiving 
ever, especially after my sister told me of all the bewildered looks that 
went around the table as they sat down to eat and noticed I was missing.

Devilish.

However, Thanksgiving is the only holiday which I have feelings bordering on 
hatred for. Halloween is my favorite. And ever since I started thinking of 
Christmas as the time of year when Humbert Humbert slides into his fuzzy red 
suit, straps on the thick black belt, and lays in wait for the young girls 
to come a climbing on his lap to give his beard a tug I can't help but get 
in the festive mood for some eggnog.

Thus, I've decided to completely skip Thanksgiving this year and to move 
right on in to Christmas. As such I will be answering the furtive call of 
many sinisterines as to what about the

**************SINISTER CHRISTMAS PRESENT EXCHANGE********************

Though I'm willing to collect the names and assign the partners, I'm rubbish 
at explaining things. Joanna did a lot better job of describing the entire 
process last year than I could ever hope to do. Thus, if you want a general 
notion of what this is about or  ideas for gifts and such then refer to her 
post of: http://www.missprint.org/sinister/mhonarc/200012/msg00018.html

It's just for those who want to participate (even if you're in the nursery 
still though we might cutesy wutesy you just an ittle wittle pacifier wier) 
and not mandatory by any means.

Of course, this year you'll need to send me an e-mail to LLeweth at yahoo.com 
with your:

* Name
* Full Address
* The number of presents you would like to make (since it will correspond 
with the presents you will receive)

Last year the exchange worked as a chain so that I might give a present to 
Sexy Steve Kado but he was giving a present to Katy "Dorothy Parker makes me 
want to gulp down bathtub gin, get in a bad relationship, and attempt 
suicide - all in that order" Harris in the hopes that participants would get 
to spread their "christmas cheer" with two people instead of just one. Fair 
enough. However, if you'd like to give and receive from the same person then 
tell me and I will put those people in a different pool.

That's it! Well, plus, you all have to not realize that, oddly enough, 
you're all sending presents to Miss Laura Llew in North Carolina.

She needs the lovin', baby

Laura
"now it's time to meet all of Laura Llew's needs which have been severely 
lacking since 1977"

PS - I finally chose a winner of the TRANSATLANTIC MIS TAPE CHALLANGE to 
discover that there's at least five more tapes out there that haven't been 
completed and sent yet. Thus, I have to make a deadline. To be in the 
contest the tapes have to be in the mail to me (postmarked!) before the end 
of this year. This will give those of you plenty of time to wrap things up. 
Plus, you'll just be able to slip it right in there with your Christmas 
present to me! (See how thoughtful I am?) If anyone else new wants to 
partcipate, all you need to do is to come up with your best mix tape and 
send it to me. Simply e-mail me for my address when you're ready to mail it 
and I shall officially enter you into the competition. There are no rules - 
no time limits for the tapes or anything like that.

_________________________________________________________________
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