Sinister: Parks and Eagles

[Kenneth P Y Chu]

Ever since the Industrial revolution, the peoples' lifestyles have taken a 
radical turn.  Some would say for the better, and some would say worse.  The 
world was blessed with an explosion of machines and tools that eases our 
lives to such an extent that a whole range of manual work are no longer a 
necessity.  It is now possible to work, shop, live, and even engage into 
romance (for some) without leaving the comfort of your own home.

However, what most people hadn't realised until now is that the wonderful 
bliss that is modern technology is actually a double edged sword - people 
have become lazy, the non-necessity of the outdoors manifested into the 
necessity of the indoors, and our chairs now form parts of our lower body 
(check out the size of my chair baby).  This is not a healthy lifestyle.. 
something needs to be done.

== Ken's guide to healthy lifestyle ==

Here are a few pointers towards a healthier lifestyle than being a pesty 
faced vegan geek.

1. Plenty of outdoors activity - It is important to be outdoors every now 
and then in order to respire in fresh outdoor air.

Suggested location: top of the primrose hill in Camden, London where the air 
is the cleanest.
Suggested duration: a maximum of 60 minutes per 8 hours of pub time.

2. Plenty of fluid - 80% of the human body is made of water, therefore 
fluids are important.

Suggestions: Red Bull, Lager, Bitter, Red Bull, Ale, vodka, Red Bull, gin, 
Red Bull, Martini, Barcadi, Red Bull, whisky, Red Bull, Red Bull.

Some clever sinister people invented ingenious ways of sharing various other 
types of fluids but those are beyond the scope of this lecture.

3. Plenty of exercise - Proper exercise is probably the most vital for good 
health.  It is important that all parts of the body are exercised.

Exercise Suggestions for various parts of the body...
Legs: 2-a-side football on 10 square metre pitch.. or the lobby of an 
Underground station.
Arms: A choice of Darts throwing (maximum 3 throws per hour), or weight 
lifting (recommended weight - one pint of lager).
Lips: Kissing boys.
Full body: Balancing on Underground train, or whatever other full body 
exercises you can think of.

4. Healthy eating - energy must be replentished after the strenuous 
exercises, for example an epic 2 hour game of darts.

Suggestions: Kebabs from "Greenwich Kebab House" whose expertise in kebab 
making won them accolades such as the prestigious "The best chips award" 
from the famous food critics of the Greenwich Christian Centre.

6. Avoid drugs - smoking twiglet crumbs seriously affects health, espeically 
mental health (e.g. your ability to count numbers)

7. Plenty of rest - After a whole weekend of psysical and mental fitness 
training the importance of rest is paramount.

Suggestion: Sleep for 4 hours before going to work - avoid doing work at 
office by typing a sinister picnic report disguised as tips for healthy 
living.

8. Listen to Belle & Sebastian

That's all for now.  Until next time take care of yourself, and each other.

Weekends and Red Bulls
Ken

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