Sinister: i know the reason i want to curl up in your room.

[nafees saeed]

winter took a break today.  instead it just rained a lot and there was a lot
of strong wind.  and that thing happened too, when you're walking by a
puddle and a big truck comes and splashes you.  it's not good, i wish all
puddles were warm and not cold.  that way i wouldn't shout the word "fuck"
so loudly.  i think i scared some old people, oh well.  i only had one
lesson today but that was spent drying off.  i sat next to the radiator and
just looked out of the window all lesson.  there's this really ugly building
in my town and they've made it even uglier.  for christmas they've put this
huge picture of a child with a toothless smile on the side of it.  i just
kept thinking about how much stick that poor kid's going to get at school.
they should have spared him, any stranger who comes to this town (why they
would want to i have no idea) is just going to head straight back
home...which would be the sensible thing.

i had a job interview today, i've never actually had a proper job interview
before so i didn't really know what to do.  the guy who interviewed me was a
bit strange.  "pete" kept coughing, maybe he was nervous.  i wasn't nervous
i just didn't know what to do, i don't think i got the job either.  every
single question he asked was greeted by an initial 'err...well...'.  i think
i also used the word "umm" 445345 times.  i felt really bad afterwards, so i
bought cigarettes.  i don't smoke, but one of my friends swears that a
cigarette can make you feel better.  i didn't, instead it just reminded me
why i don't like smoking.  strange to think how peeople can be addicted to
them.  after the first one i just gave up and exchanged them with a homeless
person for a copy of the big issue.  i listened to 'get me away from
here...' then.  i really do like that song, perhaps it's my favourite b&s
song.  somebody mentioned the song 'rhoda' in a post the other day, which
made me search through my mp3s trying to find it.  i really do like that
song.  i haven't got a good copy of it so instead of have to cope with the
speakers vibrating everytime it gets a bit louder.  stuart still sounds
good, even if he is muffled and the hissing sound is louder than he is.  i
don't know why but i find myself listening to b&s more around this time of
the year.  actually, if i could ask a member a question it'd be to any of
them...i'd ask if they would release 'rhoda'.

my mum's been going to the hospital a lot lately.  i don't know why, and
whenever i mention it she changes the subject.  i think she went again
today, she looked really tired when she came home and she had all these
plasters on the back of her hands.  i know they're supposed to be good for
you but there's nothing i hate more in the world than hospitals.  maybe
because i've spent too much time in them.  i wish there would be some way
they could be...dirtier.  it sends me insane the way everything shines.
when you spill something a team of nurses come and clean it up.  i
appreciate nurses, and doctors.  i hope my mum's ok.  i'm sure she will be.
perhaps i'm just being ultra paranoid and she's got an in growing toe nail.
as horrible as it sounds.  i remember a boy at my old school who had one of
those who took great pleasure in showing everyone in the p.e. changing
rooms.  he liked it so much he never told his parents because he didn't want
them to take him to a hospital.  one day during a p.e. lesson someone hurt
his foot and he ended up going to hospital.  i don't think there's a point
to that story, it's just a story.

i used up the last page in my sketchbook the other day, it was fun flicking
through it and looking at all the other stuff, stuff i'd forgotten about.  i
think everyone should have something like that just to piss about with.  i
don't like other people looking at it though, it's personal in anyway, it's
just i don't like people looking at it.  i was looking at somebody's
sketchbook in my english lesson, for her art class.  it was strange because
they have to use them almost formally.  you could tell the person had put a
lot of effort into it and yet the tutor wrote (in red ink none the less)
"not good enough". there's nothing worse than teacher's comments in red ink,
it just marrs everything.  what the hell am i going on about?

---

i saw in a rachael fruitloop post "Nafees seems like such a tough guy!  Even
though it was an accident!"  that's partly true.  it was an accident but i
am far from being a tough guy.  i run as far away from confrontation as
possible.  you know the line in that hefner song that goes "usually i like
confrontation i do" ?  well, that's not me.  however i understand what
people mean when they said they feel good when they're mentioned in one of
those.  i was reading my e-mail in the media study area at college and i
began to laugh.  when i asked why i replied "oh i was in a fruitloop post",
the person looked suitably bemused.  i don't why it's good, perhaps it's
because everybody likes acknowledgment.

my two cents (or pence) worth about the magnetic fields:  i like them,
they're good.  not amazing but nice none the less.  i can understand why
people don't like them solely of the merits of merritt (boom boom), but i've
never seen them/him live so i wouldn't know.  i do like the white stripes,
they make me tap my foot and walk a little bit faster.  i was reading a will
oldham interview and he was saying that perhaps people would enjoy stuff
more if they were more focused on the product and not the person or people.
i think i agree, perhaps that's why i haven't not, not enjoyed any music
recently.  actually no.  that robbie williams thing the other day, i had to
turn over.  i have only fond memories of the royal albert hall and i intend
to keep them that way.

worst pick-up line? well, i don't know if it's a line but once me and my
friend were at a bar, standing at the bar.  and some guy goes to my friend
"you're lucky", to which my friend replies "why?", man goes "because i'm
here", my friend goes "oh...ok" then turns round.  it was just funny the way
my friend ignored his feeble attempts.  i would of felt sorry for him if i
didn't see him trying it on other people.

---

this post's been rather crap, for which i apologise.  i feel i should end
with a crap joke,

patient: "doctor, it hurts whenever i touch my body"

doctor: "that's because you've broken all your fingers"

take care,

nafees.

p.s.  the new jim o'rourke album is rather good.

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 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
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