Sinister: i've seen you look like a japanese baby....in an instant i remembered everything.

[caleb ben moore]

heylo sinister folk....
my friend (and fellowhead b&s fan) nathan lee
from elgin IL. just sent me this email, and i
found it so bizarre and hilarious that i had to
share it with all of you.  nathan is an odd
person to say the least.  enjoy!  ---caleb ben 
aka raw

p.s.  tomorrow i get "i'm waking up to us"!!


 (from nathanhead) 
 
Dearest Leopoldt,

With deepest regretation, i am writing to inform
you that we cannot attend your upcoming
invitational at the Dairiquee Ballroom. Oh how
terribly sorry we are for being advanced
absentees, but you see we seem to be having, well
a slight excursion into troubleland due to our
two pussycats who have gone, how can we say, a
little too far into the townsquare of KooKoo
land? Yes, Leopoldt, a week yesterday we released
the kittys from our humble abode, as usual, for
their daytime frolic. Unawares were we when
Carmine came tromping home with what seemed to be
a moist ring of milk around the chops and
whiskers. What seemed to be! Charles drew the
hankercheif from his breast pocket to wipe the
"milk" away when Carmine fanged him in his
jugulus vantiquis! He collapsed into our bed of
vibrant (yes, beautiful) roses and recieved an
adequate share of prickles from the throny stems
which i spent the rest of the evening
plucking free with a pair of mangled tweezers.
Then he died. Good tweeze is difficult to come by
these days my dear Leopoldt, remember that!
Carmine told us she had grown weary of our
"restrictive" feeding program and decided to
fufill her fragile stomach's hunger inquiries by
biting people. "I want to bite them!" she
screamed. When i quickly objected to her
bogagolabee nonsense she scratched my face with
the front claws of her front paw, which i had
TOLD Charles to have removed, and CHARLES!
Charles dead from what seemed to be death, had no
retort to my raising of rucous over our newly
found rebellious spirit trapped in the brains
inside the flesh and bone covered with
tortoishell hair for Carmine, our pussycat! I had
suspected that Carmine talked, yet never delved
into the realm of perhaps/perhaps not. It's
astonishing! TALKING PUSSYCATS! how unbennening!
Well, Lucius, he is a total different story.
Lucius, always favored as the head bow-wow in our
abode, trusted and renouned amound his close
feline colleagues, appeared to have dissapeared
that night. Disappeared Leoplodt! Vanished! After
dragging the cold corpse of Charles to our
bearclawed bathtub, i drew a warm bath and layed
his body in the water, hoping for the slight
possibility of revival. Little was i to know that
all along i had not been married to the living,
breathing man, but a rather unique spongey toy
which grew to an extraordinary size and shape! My
former Charles forced his head through the
bathroom ceiling, attempted to talk to me (he
spoke rather unintelligebly, his soft plush lips
made a sand paper meshing sound, very
pet-peevish, i requested he quickly hush), then
merrily boinged away down our quiet little lane.
Oh, Leopoldt, this is not the half!
Oh, if only time came in bundles. I would act
with haste and buy them all from the hand of
Father Winnenenne. I must write you in addition
later. My hand has grown feeble from formering
letters into words and sentences with my ink and
feather. Do take care dear Leo. Await anxiously
my futher explanation. 

=====
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a 
harder battle." ~Plato

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