Sinister: There's poison under the sink of course, and enough formaldehyde to kill a horse

[Matthew Henderson]

Hello everyone,

It's been a while.

The past few weeks have been strange.  Does anyone know what it's like to 
feel completely and utterly helpless?  I do.  Now.  I've lacked all sorts of 
motivation, and because of it, I can't get anything done at all. It's just 
been an endless parade of cigarettes and laying around.  Also some Buffy 
thrown into the mix, which I'm just now getting addicted to.  It's awful.  
I'm broke, so I'm not eating right (unless Jeno's oven baked pizzas for 99 
cents and a Southern Up to drink count).  I'm not getting nearly enough 
sleep, mostly because I lack the motivation to go to my room and sleep.  
I've barely left the house, except for school and to hang out for hours on 
end at my favourite record shop, while the guy from Widnes mocks my love of 
'wimp-pop'.  Sadly, the record shop is usually the highlight of my day.  I 
haven't even really felt like listening to Belle and Sebastian, so I 
haven't.  It's just Magnetic Fields and the Pet Shop Boys (the new DVD is 
great by the way), and that fails to get to me like it used to.  For a long 
period of time, anyway.  Finals and papers and applications are hanging over 
my head, and I can't stand it.  Worse than that, I can't get ANY of it done. 
  I planned on working on all that stuff hardcore over Thanksgiving break, 
but I did virtually none of it.  I just loafed around and felt shitty.  I 
tried to break up the monotony by going to Birmingham (not THAT one) to see 
the Strokes again.  The 48 minutes was very enjoyable, but that and 
listening to Tom Waits the night before were the absolute highlights of the 
week.  And I didn't even finish the Tom Waits album.  Ah well, bitch bitch 
bitch.

I thanked the Maker for the new single, which I should have been able to get 
yesterday.  However, my favourite record shop's order has been screwed up, 
so I have to wait until tomorrow at 2 pm at the latest for it.  I can't buy 
it anywhere else, because then I'll feel dirty.  God must hate me.

Speaking of God, Ian mentioned my favourite movie, The Seventh Seal.  There 
is something intensely moving about the knight staring into the girl who is 
about to be burned's eyes.  Was that proper grammar?

I just tonight caught up on 67 sinister emails, and now I'm writing to you 
all as my reward (and your punishment).

Jeremy, don't apologize (if that's what you were doing) for your comments on 
betrayal.  I love it when people tell it like it is.  Is that how it really 
is then?

This city is closing in on me.  I'm horribly tired of it.  I wish I could 
just up and move.  Although on the way to the strokes, me and my friends 
took back roads all the way through Alabama, and we got to see the real 
local flavour of the 2nd most polluted state in the union (too bad 
Mississippi had to let them detonate a nuclear device).  There was a large 
high school on the side of the road that is now abandoned.  There was a 
large oak tree growing through the roof of the gym.  It was absolutely 
inspring.  It's near the town where they have the annual catfish festival.  
How exciting!

Enough about me.

-Matt



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