Sinister: Christmas depression...

[arlequim at xxx.br]

As Daniela has said a few messages ago, Christmas depression is real. It's
not an impression of hers, I guess... Because I feel it too. Every year, as
november comes, and people starts to scream we should anticipate our
christmas' shopping, it seems like I have been stroken in my stomach. But
there are lot of theories about why so many people feel bad as the year ends.


For me, it's always as many things have been left unsaid or undone. I start
to remember: how beautiful was that girl I was dating!... she was really
fine... but I missed the chance to tell her how much I liked her. And then
the year ends. Time's over! When the year ends, forget it!! Think of
something new, wait until the next wave, and so on... And what about that
plans of taking theatre lessons? and going back to music school? And calling
that friend of mine, that propably has already commited suicide? Oh, no, I
didn't do any of these things... and the year ends. It's like everything we
planned, everything we hoped was going to come true just turns to dust...
dust downside in the ampullete. 

I have a friend who suffers with christmas depression for different reasons:
he has lost his friend in a car accident. His mother is dead too, consumed
by cancer. Tough, isn't it? It can happen to any of us... but the problem
is: Christmas makes all the bad things that happens to us gather living and
fresh colours. When everyone MUST be happy, wouldn't it be the perfect time
for knowing why your life just CAN'T be happy? That's another point...

Here in Brazil it's close do summer now... it's quite stupid putting a pinus
tree in the living room and imagining a Santa with that warm and cozy
clothes, while we're living days of 40ºC in the shade. Never understood that!
! We should should start trying adaptations to a "tropical Christmas", with
typical trees, fruits and a Santa wearing a softer outfit. But that's a
project for the future... There's no cold, no snow around... I envy people
who has at least a little snow. At least their traditions are coherent.

At last, my Christmas depression probably comes from a simpler cause: I am
aquarian. So, as an aquarian, my birthday is at the beginning of the year.
January! So, every january I know I am getting older, shorter of breath and
one day closer to death ~laughs~. This year I will be 24 years old. I know
that a few years further I will be missing these days as my best, but, now,
I feel like a lot of years have passed behind me! Wow, a lot!! And where
have they gone to? What was I thinking when  I let them go?!?!

So, this is what I have to say about my private Christmas depression.
Daniela: you're not alone! At least, not in Brazil... 

And let's sing along: 
"Did you ever see the faces of the children, they get so excited 
Waking up on Christmas morning, hours before the winter sun's ignited
They believe in dreams and all they mean including heaven's generosity
Peeping round the doors to see what parcels are for free in curiosity
And Tommy doesn't know what they it is
Doesn't know who Jesus was or what praying is
How can he be saved
>From the eternal grave?!?"

Does anybody know that? 

Beto
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