Sinister: why don't you say the things you used to say? what makes you treat me like a piece of clay? my hair's still curly and my eyes are still blue, why don't you love me like you used to do?

[Richard Gillanders]

kenneth got 'ejaculated' from a night club.  I got
ejected later.  by the same guy.  we reckoned it must
have been his first night.  he was throwing lots out. 
power-trip?  I don't go in for that sort of thing
myself.  but-yes.  my exit was much more contrived. 
YET.  NOT AT ALL contrived.  maybe I want
'engineered'.  or maybe I have it.  whether I want it
or not.
and later ladies looking for information pertaining to
my persuasion.  and telling me all about their flooded
hotel rooms.  and missing boyfriends.

alasdair had a birthday party.  I gatecrashed.  with
karl stockhausen.  ignoring the number of varieties
and singing the beatles.  and soon it was all jeepers
creepers.  and ally wielding his instrument.  briefly.
 and reflecting on age.  and in pint glasses.  and
half pint glasses.  much pool was played.  I didn't
realise just how much until afterwards.  three times
we didn't finish on the black.  three times I
shrugged.  and a juicy one concluding the final game
with three tremendous shots.  it sure was fun.  I wish
I knew about parties I could actually gatecrash.  or
turn up uninvited to.

david moore reckoned he looked...  when talking
briefly about the byzantine empire.
I forget.  how exactly that he thought he looked.  and
I cannot access the archive at the moment.  I remember
there was some...curling up in embarrassment?  I can
assure him he didn't look...  not even slightly.  I
think he might have looked...knowledgeable instead. 
but.  I forget.  I was tired that night.  tireder.


lots of people say 'poor rich' when they talk to me. 
I get asked how I am and I tell that I'm 'okay'. 
sometimes I make a face.  enforcing just how okay I
am.  I don't say much.  and because usually what I do
say is some sort of complaint.  about.  however.  and
they say 'poor rich'.  and I say 'yeahhhh'.  because I
don't know what else to say.


I got the new single.  and saw some fantastic dancing.
 there were no mirrors.  I like it.  mostly.  I had
thought it could be a lot of fun.

I also got the new chilly gonzales single.  that's a
lot of fun.


'the gillanders defence'?  I stopped playing chess
years ago.  scrabble is preferred.  even if my
dictionary goes no further than 'w'.

I don't have a television aerial.  I do have a
television.

I'm going to amsterdam next week.  missing dear
jo-jo's birthday celebrations.  unfortunately.  I sort
of don't want to.  go.


AND if I get to apologising in the future.  I'll make
sure there's an obvious WHO and an obvious WHY.


I've decided not to smoke.


here.
I don't mean to sound melancholy.


sometimes I think 'ouch'.

sometimes I think 'ouch, ouch, ouch'.


hello,
richard.

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