Sinister: hold your hand in shame and cry your life away

[Lola Monnet]

hello.

i have been very embarassing yesterday, i cried at a public place.

i travelled to the cinema to watch a film called le fabuleux destín d'amélíe 
poulaín, it was a story about a girl who grew up with herself and no one 
else, and she grew up with a lot of different ideas about the world and she 
likes to help the others around her to make their lives improve.

while i was watching the film i was beginning to cry, very slowly.  and then 
during the middle of the film a person told amélíe that she is helping all 
these other people when is she going to sort out her own life, and she 
started crying, and i started crying too.

growing up with no one else can make someone very afraid, afraid of speaking 
with anybody or getting close to people. even although that is what you 
dream about doing every night, to be connected with another person, someone 
you can trust.  although sometimes you can forget about everything when you 
keep yourself busy it always comes back to you at night, when you sleep, 
when you watch television about people being close.

amélíe finds someone she can be close with in the end, maybe one day i will 
too, or maybe i will just carry on dreaming.

i don't really know why i have just written all of this to you.

lola.

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