Sinister: bad dream #2

[caleb ben moore]

i keep having bad dreams about the world dying
and my family dying and so on....
  they always end with me sobbing and hugging my
dead or dying brother or sister.....it's all so
horrible.
  this world is so completely out of control.
 honestly everyone should just go out and get
stoned.  something relaxing......maybe
valium...or exstacy even......i don't know, could
we put it in the water supply?.......i think i'm
developing an ulcer.
  i work in a mailroom at an accounting firm, and
all we've talking about is how to handle
dangerous or suspicious materials......this
morning we got a letter from lagos (in africa)
 marked "suspect material"  i didn't know what to
make of it....it was completely flat and felt
empty......but i said (to quote my native
ancestors) "today is a good day to die"
  and i snipped it open....and all it was was a
money-making scam thing from nigeria.
    but it made me think very seriously for a
moment about my imminent death......and now i'm
really freaked out and shaking and i feel like
i'm going to throw up.   very panicky.
      i'm filled with a very unsafe feeling.
 and i know that people all around the world have
felt this and are feeling this....all those poor
people in afghanistan......nobody should feel
this......nobody should die......god, i'm crying
now.....i can't write anymore now, sorry.......i
love you all out there, please be friendly to
someone today.....help someone
somehow..............caleb ben

=====
And when I'm lying in my bed I think about life 
and I think about death 
and neither one particularly appeals to me 
and if the day came when I felt a natural emotion 
I'd get such a shock I'd probably lie 
in the middle of the street and die 
I'd lie down and die  ------morrissey

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