Sinister: a heart thats full up like a lemsip

[kieran devaney]

i've never actually tried lempsip, although i have a romantic notion of it
being a wonderful warm lemony experience which would relieve any cold or
sore throat ailing me at the time
however i think that trying the stuff would probably shatter this idyllic
scene, because it's probably nasty and sticky in the harsh reality
theres a wider metaphor there, but i wont bore you by putting it into
awkward prose
the title is a bastardisation of the line from 'no suprises'
which is a gorgeous song

the real reason for this email (because lempsips aren't enough of a reason)
is because of a game my friend and i invented today, which kept us going
through a rather dull english lesson/lunchtime combo
it's called indie dreamteam, but the name is pending investigation
it's based on those slightly naff fantasy football leagues that so many
people seem to like
and the whole game is deliberate sort of naff in a loosely ironic way
but it's all held together with magic glue

the premise is that you pick 11 players and 5 substitutes (just like
football i hear you cry!)
except the players have to be indie heroes icons whatever, or at least
people who embrace a spirit of indie music in something that they do
your team will obviously reflect your own taste in music, but we came up
with a couple of extra rules just for fun

for example
the three foreigners rule - a return for the much maligned european cup
rule... you are allowed three people not from your country only, thats your
lot, the rest have to come from where you live (a bit unfair for europeans
who want to play, but you can pretend you live in the UK i guess... although
another country based one would be fun).
we decided that the UK would count as the country, mostly because there are
too many good people in scotland and wales to miss

girls rule - you have to have at least two girls (because everyone likes
girls) and these can be your foreigners if you want or substitutes

obsolete characters rule - you are allowed one person who is dead, or not
making music anymore if you want, but it isn't compulsory... there was some
consternation as to whether morrissey or lauren laverne counted as still
making music, and an agreement wasn't reached as to whether both could be
used
we did
decide for yourselves

i think thats it

a sort of generic team we worked out goes like this

1: Aidan Moffat - Arab Strap
2:Jarvis Cocker - Pulp
3: Steve Malkmus - Solo Stuff/Pavement
4: Stuart Murdoch - B&S
5: David Gedge - Cinerama/Wedding Present
6: PJ Harvey
7: Gruff Rhys - SFA
8: Morrissey - Smiths/Solo Stuff
9: Isobel Campbell - B&S/Gentle Waves
10: Darren Hayman - Hefner
11: Mark E. Smith - The Fall

subs
12: Euros Childs - Gorkys
13: Lauren Laverne - Solo Stuff/Kenickie
14: Stuart Braithwaite - Mogwai
15: Efrim ??? - Godspeed You Black Emperor!
16: Justine Frischman - Elastica

hopefully that embraces the spirit of indie in all it's swirling greatness
just as a disclaimer: i hate football

anyway
enjoy
after all that, i imagine no one will play

peace and love
kieran

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