Sinister: it's days and months since i've seen you last

[JohaN HUGO]

hallo everyone

your solitary soul bringing glad tidings and even more full inboxes to all 
from the increasingly sunny southern tip of africa. ("have you missed 
me" is the sort of question i've learnt not to ask, and damnit! (sorry) 
who do i think i am anyway?)
well, to start, actually there are several things wrong with the willfully 
misconstrued and misquoted subject-heading-thingy. they can be 
listed, in order of no particular significance, as:
1. it hasn't really been that long.
2. i've seen YOU, you just haven't seen ME (as if you've noticed)
3.... okay, maybe not that many things wrong.

rest assured, though, it wasn't you, it's been me...
in fact, after the whole wtc thing, i didn't want to post, because i feel 
quite strongly about it, but not in the way it would've done any good to 
tell all the world about. i am SOOO proud of the way you all reacted 
though (it's been said before, but not by me)
then i went away for a while, and since then have been fighting the 
backlog of mails in my inbox. for some reason i can't delete any of 
them without reading them (it wouldn't seem right, and i'd have 
missed so much!) and so have been about - at least 2 days behind 
everyone else for the last i don't know how long, and not wanting to 
post before i've caught on. somehow i can't resisit anymore though.

and there have been SO many amazingly brilliant posts (it would be 
no use trying to even remember them all now, nevermind start 
mentioning). so many i've wanted to respond to off-list (am i'm so 
sorry i haven't, but time! time!) and others that are so special... just to 
say then, in general, thanks for all the uplifting ones, and the witty 
ones, and the grate stories etc. and good luck and hugs for all the 
people who've felt sad and who will feel sad, and who are kind to 
enough to let the rest of us know we're not and will not be alone... 
i wish i could be as geographically close to all of you as i feel otherwise. 
oh, the magic of a kind word, but hugs are better, mmh?

so where have i been? yes, the correct answer would be at a small arts 
festival in potchefstroom, which NONE of you will have hear of 
(steve, apologies if i am wrong). how was it? not very arty, but VERY 
festive. at least 3 good things happened: made lots of money! (just 
shows, pick material suited to elderly audiences, and the crowds will 
come - especially if your venues in an old-age home. we had people 
with walking-frames in the audience, i'm not kidding, oh my brothers! 
who'd have thought it, hey, your malenky droog making a living for 
himself by fleecing starry vetches and ptitsas! - sorry if my nadsat's a 
little rusty, it's been a while!)
secondly i have been completely converted to the red bull and vodka 
brigade (hats off to you, mr. chu!), and lastly spent a very enjoyable 
afternoon having coffee with a dancer who must easily have been both 
the most sexy and the most interesting woman in the whole town. (self-
described as the result of a one-night stand between her married 
german mother and a spanish gypsy!) trust me, you have not lived 
until you've seen rapid and comprehensive costume changes 
backstage!!!
but what's this? me actually talking to people who both interest and 
attract me? nonsense! the world would end! but wait... isn't it? anyway, 
have her phone number (which she volunteered, ha-ha!!!) and an 
invitation to go see her paintings sometime (although, it should be 
noted that "i'm not ashamed to say that i'm okay, with the girl next 
door whose famous for showing her chest" - if only i could find her!!!)

amongst other good things to have happened:
hung out with a really real and really mad scot for the first time (from 
dundee), got drunk and broke into the rugby stadium to play 
midnightly football with a tennisball, then gave it up when we realised 
visibility was really not what it had been made out to be.
bought LOTS of new music and books, amongst which the standouts 
are the ridiculously marvellous and also japanese pizzicato five (whose 
insane cheerfulness have been driving my wqrryingly trance-prone 
brother up the wall) the delgados (which took me a while to get into, 
but has been more than rewarding), mercury rev (which made me 
angry in a sort of irrational way, because it seemed at the time that 
only an international conspiracy of vast - or is that, sinister? - 
proportions could have kept me from discovering them for so long) 
apples in stereo. then also an album which would win prizes in my 
book both for greatest band name, and greates album name also ("lips 
that taste like tears" by the trembling blue stars). very beautiful. can 
anyone tell me anything about them though, as sleeve-notes are 
virtulaay non-existent? i think the name comes from the same neruda 
poem that someone (madeleine? kirsten? sorry can't remember) 
quoted after the wtc attacks.
lastly, must mention that i FINALLY got the sinister album!!! and it's 
not been overrated at all!!!! can already play the fox in the snow, and 
do so constantly (my poor brother - he really doesn't have it easy!) 
maybe more about that at some other time.

just had to write again though - it feels so good. sorry for those of you 
who have now wasted the time to read this - if you don't feel it's been a 
waste, then this post is dedicated to you.
loved jenowl's smile advice, adn would like to re-iterate it here (i'm 
sure that she won't mind: there's too much love to go around!)

love

JohaN

ps. hang on nisie. i WILL write again soon, i promise. (exciting news!) 
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