Sinister: Chuse your future

[Danny Farrell]

Hello sinister-pies,

Ooooo what a strange few days i've had,

I tried to quit my university course on Tuesday because Accounting is just 
not really for me,so i went to see my University counselor and somehow,im 
still not quite sure, i was convinced that staying in Accountancy was such a 
good idea,i think he used magic. I think i actually stamped at one point:

"I wanna quit the course" nicely and calmly
"But have you considered the amazing career prospects of accountancy"
"I wanna quit the course" slightly agitated and whiny
"You know you can take a non-accredited degree and finish a year earlier"
"I wanna quit the course" Stamping up and down
"You know you can get into any Sociology or English career with an 
accountancy degree"
"I wanna quit the course" pleading
"But its already too late in the semester"
"Bite me.Bite me. Bite me." running out the room

Hmmmm anyway something like that,i was bewitched i tell you.
Erm im weak.

Then at night i went to see Troika with a few friends and met some lovely 
sinister type people too and i decided to take my anger at the counsellor 
out on my liver,it is bad and must be punished,9 tequila slammers and a 
Troika gig later i was callously deserted by my friends.

Not callously or deserted either but that sounds better.

Anyway i found myself in the company of a superfab young lady,another four 
or five tequila slammers later and we headed for our respective last trains. 
However what was not taken into consideration is what i shall suggestively 
title "the five steps rule" which means that after ten or more tequila shots 
walking five or more steps without falling is nigh on impossible,this makes 
walking for a train a lot more difficult but slightly more colourful,anyway 
the ten minute walk turned into a half hour stumble and the last train 
slowly headed away with absolutely no consideration for drunken buffoons who 
could only manage a few steps without falling flat on their face.Evil 
Railtrack bar-stewards!Actually i could have made the train because i could 
manage a whole twenty steps without falling but my superfab lady friend 
could only manage the pitiful five discussed earlier

Luckily Mr. Troika seen us and let us stay at his place which was superfab 
of him actually because i so didn't fancy the prospects of staying up in 
Glasgow all night with a Hefner gig looming over my head the next evening.

Then the next day me and my huge hangover went to see Hefner which should 
have been grate,but my liver didn't like being punished the previous day so 
it decided to make me feel evil all day. For some strange reason they played 
the Cathouse which is like goth heaven and i was expecting to walk in and 
see some sheep being sacrificed on a pentagram but maybe i was late or 
something because there wasn't one. Mr. Hayman's voice was dead too and 
there these neds who kept shouting and swearing and generally being neds,i 
think the pinnacle of their nedness was when one of them tried to out-sing 
Hayman and when politely asked to quieten down replied "Fuck off this is my 
song"

Argh i want to kick neds' shins

Yicketts are worse though,they're the cultural consequences of people like 
Eminem and Mr. Durst. I'd love to chain Yicketts together by padlocking 
their chains to each other and then watch them try to figure out why they 
keep falling,i think it would take about a year for them too realise:

"Wow man we keep falling and we're like stuck too each other"
"Hey this is,like,soooooo unrufus"
"I wonder if my man Em has a song about this"

Erm quite.

Hmmmm tangents: Loneliness must be the single most crippling emotion anyone 
can experience.Its so much worse than rejection or sadness or  general 
malaise because they can all be bounced back from and you can turn to 
friends,but if you're lonely you've no one to turn to or at least it seems 
that way and it just leaves you feeling so empty. I almost hugged a lamp 
post last night,i think i would have if id had more to drink but as it was i 
just settled for a few head-pats from my tall friend and the pearls of 
wisdom "It really can only get better" or something similar to that anyway.

I am afraid of the dark ages,

recently instead of taking notes at university i've been sitting writing 
random weird lines that come into my head from novels or films or even my 
warped imagination and my friend asked to borrow my notes because he missed 
a lecture and i gave them to him without thinking and all he got was a bunch 
of random weird lines that he couldn't understand at all,which was pretty 
funny for me.

Ooooo dundee picnic is on Saturday,i need to make my way up all on my 
lonesome because Alan can't make it which is not too good actually because 
three hours on the train myself isn't much fun. Hmmm everyone can be super 
nice to me when i come up though and then i can punish my liver some more 
and that will be fab.

Anyway must dash

Love, hugs and a purple funky monkey,
Danny xxx







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