Sinister: nothing is too wonderful to be true

[ulla]

here i am- your graphic equaliser.
or something like that.
will you have me wills? as a new member in your team? a member who is almost
always late and most sleepy in the mornings. but i WILL try my best and..
yeah.i will try my best. plus i'm super friendly and funny when i'm tipsy.
or at least so i've been told. it could be of cause nasty rumour only told
to make fun of me.
i was thinking about a name i would have if i will be accepted. something
like *will-i-am* or *will-is*. *will-is* specially because there was.. there
is a really cool car in Russia called that. or if it has to be food related
then would something like *will odour* do? it's kind of food related.

and the other game that caleb ben has created to specially please all of us
who speak different languages. don't you think he's amazing? i do. estonia
is in, for sure, as far as i have a word to say about the issue.

what now follows is personal. i haven't really told anybody that, i hardly
do tell anyone about things like that. but it feels good to write about it
here.

********* personal stuff , totally allowed to be skipped**********
mmm...it's about half a year now since i broke up from my last boyfriend. it
's kind of long time but on the other hand...he hurt me so bad i don't dare
to start new relationship just yet. and i sort of like to be alone. at least
it's far more better to sit and watch the sunset all by yourself than with a
guy who can insult you just like that, without any understandable reason. it
was wonderful in the beginning though..he seemed to care and had this look
in his eyes.you know. i thought it meant something. but then, few months
later he started to become really nasty and say these things out of thin
air. like i would say something like..
-"ooh, look at this butterfly on this cornflower, isn't it beautiful?"
him:
-gosh, you're so childish and stupid. what's there to care for?
or
-"would you hug me please i'm cold and i'd like to feel your hands around
me?"
"i can't i'm busy right now. put your stupid cardigan on, girl."
it went on like that for month and a half. i still felt that maybe i was
doing something wrong and i became more and more silent. until there was
nothing to say really. then i went to Helsinki for half a year and he didn't
call me even once. i called him sometimes, he seemed slightly glad once.
after when i came back i heard that he had slept with few girls since i was
away. i ended it right there. i haven't seen him since January. i'm glad i
haven't it's still painful. thank you if you have listened, it meant a lot
to me.
********end of personal stuff****************

actually i have a content too.
there was a commercial about the support to young families in Estonian tv
about half a year ago. and the soundtrack to it was Belle and Sebastians' we
rule the school. it was chosen totally because of the melody, i can't think
of any other reason.
there. i finally let you know, my conscious is clear.

have nice autumn days and kick the golden leaves. it's fun and brings smile
on your face.

much love,
ulla

p.s. Madeleine, sweetie, i will post your notebook tomorrow, i already
packed it.
p.p.s. rachel's team is fantastic too.  super.
p.p.s. much luck to david stankin' on his trip. everything will go better
that you thought it will.
i'm a true advertiser for my (hopefully) team.

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