Sinister: I fought with a boar

[Ken Chu]

Hello,

I got mugged yesterday.  My hand got cut wide open and then got robbed.

I was walking down a dark corridor, and he offered to sell me warez, wrapped
up inside an aluminium foil.  I was going to refuse, but he was very
insistent.  I gave in, and paid him 30.  He slowly took the foil out of his
pocket, but just as he was handing it to me, he changed his mind.  He
decided that 30 just wasn't good enough, I tried to take it off his hands
but his grasp was very strong.

I was angry, I punched him on the chest a few many times, but he was built
like solid steel, and rather than letting it go his grip just got tighter.
Finally, as a desperate last throw of the dice I decided to try and wrestle
him onto the ground, I grabbed hold of him.

I never knew, I never knew the jacket he wore, the back of the jacket he
wore was full of sharp razor blades, all I felt as I grappled his back was
this excruciating pain on each one of my fingers.  I let go, every inch of
my hand was bleeding, I bled, I had lost.

He held his cherished goods up high like a boxer's championship belt.  I
sighed, and walked away, money murdered, dignity dismantled, fingers
filleted.

I think I am the first person ever to have been mugged by a vending machine.

I watched Atomic Kittens on CD:UK last weekend, I couldn't help but noticed
that in one of their songs (the name escapes me), they managed to use over
30 consecutive single syllable words during a chorus.  A literary
masterpiece, or did they just copy Richard Gillanders?

Thank you everyone who helped me expand my knowledge on poo, that was good
shit.  I must have been returded to forget such great words as "cack"!
Which brings on the subject..

John Maxwell said:
>>there’s so much poo in
our existence too, which can’t be ignored, but there is always light at the
end of the tunnel.<<

...unless you have the piles. (sorry I'll stop now)


Still getting over losing a fight with an inanimate object.

Sore Creams and Red Bulls
Ken

+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
        +---+  Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list  +---+
     To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
     send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
     majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper           +-+
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
 +-+    "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000     +-+
 +-+  "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000  +-+
 +-+  "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001   +-+
 +-+               Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa                 +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+