Sinister: one second burns for a million years....

[caleb ben moore]

hey-lo.
  today has been up and down, mainly up.
 it was a very good morning full of coffee and
sunlight and list crushes.....*wink wink, you
know who you are*
  until my brother called me and got a bit angry
with me.  you see, i live with his
brother-in-law, who's name is ballad.  now ballad
is a nice enough person, a bit on the sloppy
side, but thats no big deal.  he does have some
strange personality quirks that i've noticed:
   he  doesnt communicate well at all.  meaning
that if he is hurt or offended by something
you've done, he wont tell you, he'll just start
acting really strange.  anyway, long story short:
the other night we're just sitting around talking
and i happen to mention that ezra (my brother)
isnt very happy living in chamberlain near his
in-laws, cause he doesnt get along with his wifes
dad and her whole family is in that small town
and its such a clan-like atmosphere.  now the
whole time i'm saying this it just isnt occurring
to me that i'm talking about HIS DAD, and HIS
FAMILY, so i just continue saying how ezra is fed
up living around those crazy people and so
on..(cause they really ARE weird people).  and of
course he doesnt act like he's offended or
anything (i really wasnt very mean or anything,
just honest) he just laughs and agrees.
    so this morning my brother calls up and asks
me if i said anything to ballad at all, and i
said yeah, i told what i said and he got VERY mad
at me....apparently his wifes dad is really mad
at him, and her mom is crying about it, thinking
that ezra hates them all and now about half the
town hates him......all because of some
half-hearted comments i said while i was
half-drunk!
       now my brother is my best friend in the
world and he forgave me after i apologized for
about 30 minutes, vowing to repair the damage (i
dont know exactly how i can yet)  but i'm just so
mad at myself for being so stupid......
   rest assured i wont make the same mistake
twice.  *sigh*
          ----raw   aka  caleb ben


=====
And when I'm lying in my bed I think about life 
and I think about death 
and neither one particularly appeals to me 
and if the day came when I felt a natural emotion 
I'd get such a shock I'd probably lie 
in the middle of the street and die 
I'd lie down and die  ------morrissey

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