Sinister: if i knew you didn't miss me

[Rachel .]

oh, lovely sinister,


i got dumped today... in a horrible way, i must say...
i know that you probably don't want to read about it, so i'm sorry for this 
mail. i just cant help it. i've got to do something, or else i'll just sit 
in our sofa, staring in the wall, crying.

monday:
i called him up and asked if i could see him that night, cause i really 
missed him a lot. but he told me that he was ill and he actually couldn't do 
anything but laying in the bed. so i had to accept that and do something 
else instead.

tuesday:
i had a short moment on the phone with him, and he was still ill.

wednesday:
once again, i called him up to see how he was doing, and if he felt any 
better... but obviously he didn't... he just told me that he had a terible 
headache, and that he wasn't in the mood for talking, all he wanted was to 
get back to bed.

and finally, thursday:
after school i decided to give him a visit, and to check if he was still 
ill.
when he opened the door he seemed quite... tense (but he didn't seem to be 
ill at all!)
so i took a step inside, and he nervously shut the door to his room, as if i 
wasn't allowed to go in there. but i did anyway - i always do, ofcourse, but 
he doesn't close that door in that way very often.
and what do i see when i walk into his room?
another girl laying in his bed.

after that i don't remember much of what happend. i only know that i just 
stared at her, and he said something like "oh, rach honey... i'm so 
sorry..."
and that bith laying in the bed says "is THAT rachel, your girlfriend? the 
one you were braking up with? i do understand why, yes."
then he says "err... well... monica... oh, rach, i'm sorry. but it's for the 
best you know. but i really did love you!"

after that i think that i went home...
i don't think i've ever been this sad before.
how the hell could he do like that?
"i really did love you"
did he HAVE to say that? as if it didn't hurt enough.

oh, well. i'm going to eat loads of chocolate now... and maybe i'll stare in 
the wall.



take care,
rach oj

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