Sinister: weather with you

[Dimitra]

I'm drinking wine, and looking at the screen. I look at my hand holding the
glass and I remember myself standing outside a bar toilet in November '99,
glass in hand and leaning on the wall, waiting for a certain  boy to come
out. 'I have something to tell you', I said. 'Should I say it here?'. He
said yes. 'I'm in love with you'... We moved in together a few months later.
We started fighting a few weeks later. We never stopped. We broke up.

Today, or yesterday rather, I had a great day. The weather was great: windy,
sunny and a bit cloudy at the same time. The sky was deep blue, the clouds
were little and white, the wind was coming through the window. I dreamed of
driving out of the city and lying down on a hill looking at the sky. But I
don't know anyone with a car. Or anyone that would consider it a nice idea.
Or any hills around here.

So instead, I ended up drinking coffee on a table on the pavement in the
centre of the city, with the aforementioned boy. And talking about Sinister.
Honestly. About john john too. Then we walked around the city looking for
something he needed to fix someone's door. We didn't find it. I was tempted
to walk into a travel agency and ask how much a ticket for Edinburgh for the
next weekend would be, but I didn't. We sat on a bench and had something to
eat. The bench was in the middle of the street and the wind blew exactly in
the direction of the street, and it felt as if we were going to take off...
We didn't. I was smiling, and said, 'I don't want you to move to Athens....
It's things like that that make me feel...' and at that point he jumps in
and says, ' that you can take it till you move to Scotland, right?'.  And he
was right. I wondered a bit about how can everything can go wrong when
you're in love with someone, and then go right when you're not. People think
it's weird... but it's just beautiful. A second chance to be with someone
and love them, and this time it's working!!!

We said goodbye, and I went into a record shop which a friend of mine owns.
He was my boyfriend too, the first one (the aforementioned one was the
second). And I'm friends with him too. Honestly. I went out shortly after,
with a Housemartins and  Felt album. Now That's What I Call Quit Good, and
The Strange Idols Patterns And Other Stories/Ignite The Seven Cannons. I
walked around a bit more, and bought Sweetie a present. Walked a bit more,
to the bus stop. Waiting for a bus makes me dreamy, even more when it's
windy and it's getting dark. There was a parking opposite of me, but it's
one of the few places where there are trees in the city. Tall trees with
leaves that fall in the wind, on parked cars. And buses all around. And the
sea next to that.

I got home to discover there was no one there. I turned on the computer and
played the Housemartins cd. It made me happy. When they came back, soon
afterwards, they found me grinning in front of the screen. Looking really
happy (I was really happy too). I think it made them worry. My mum, my
brother, his girlfriend, his best friend. My dad was the last one to come
in. My dad usually hates me, but when there are people around, he behaves,
and it's then he remembers he loves me. I like it when a lot of people
gather together in a house, especially when it's not planned. It usually
feels like celebrating something. Life,probably. He decided to cook. I went
out to buy some wine -the weather was still great, as I walked in the night
I was amazed I could feels so happy without something really wonderful
having happened to me. And glad.

Back home, I was lying on my mum's bed, listening to Felt, and talking to my
mum who was hanging clothes to dry, my brother enters the room. He has just
discovered our dad is talking to his girlfriend, trying to convince her to
give up the job she found. God knows why. For no reason really apart from
the fact that telling people what they should do, and why, makes him feel
better. So my brother walks in, looks at us, and says, 'Has your *husband*
been drinking?'.

That's how my life is these days. Weird. Sunny. Windy. Dreamy. Lonely
sometimes, but in a magical sense. I hope it stays that beautiful.

Love, and keep the faith,
Dimitra







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