Sinister: A response from the U.S. east coast

[Kimberly Girton]

I haven't posted in ages, but in light of the terrorist attack, I came to 
the Sinister List looking for comfort, some sense of solidarity, a feeling 
that people around the world understand the pain we feel at this time, and 
send their prayers.

I will thank God every day for all of you on the list, and the fact that you 
care about us, no matter where we are.  You are the only reason the voice in 
my head that is saying, "The world has gone to Hell" isn't taking over my 
entire thought process.

I'd like to thank all of you who have offered your condolences to those of 
us on the east coast of the U.S.  As a born-and-bred eastcoaster, a former 
college student in NY and a resident of D.C., my entire life - family, 
friends - is located within Washington D.C. and NYC.  I am positive I am not 
the only one who can claim this story.  I am not the only person who spent 
agonizing hours trying to track down family and friends, only to be met with 
tied up phone lines and the rebroadcasting of TV footage I needn't see more 
than once.  Even once was one too many.  By the grace of God, all of my 
friends who worked within a block of the Pentagon are safe, and all I know 
in Manhattan who were forced to flee their buildings are safe and accounted 
for at this time.  I am VERY lucky.  My father is stuck in St. Louis and 
won't be able to leave until Thursday.  A friend, and employee of the NSA, 
is stuck in Seattle on a business trip.  As this sort of thing is in the 
NSA's jurisdiction to prevent, my heart goes out to her and her coworkers.  
They do the best they can every day defending our country.  Ubfortunately, 
they are vulnerable to error.

It is indescribable how much those of us who were affected by this tragedy 
appreciate the kind words from fellow Sinisterees.  From the bottom of my 
heart - thank you.

The other main reason I write is to address the fears stated on this list of 
WWIII, etc.  To start: yes, I am angry because someone has attacked U.S. 
soil, and my understanding that the U.S. is not particularly popular around 
the world does nothing to temper that anger.  The fact remains that this is 
my country, and hundreds of thousands of innocent people have been injured, 
killed, or otherwise affected by an act of blatant, calculated cowardice.  
We will fear for our lives for weeks.  We will jump at the slightest touch 
and we will instinctively duck at the sound of aircraft.

I am not an advocate of violence.  I was angry and disappointed when 
President Bush took office.  But never have I, nor any of my friends who 
have always held the same political sentiments I have, been more consoled by 
the fact that we have a world leader willing to do whatever he must to 
ensure our national safety.  We find ourselves turning to our leaders for 
solace, whether we voted for them or not.  A military jeep drove up my 
street earlier today on patrol.  I have never in my life been so happy to 
see what I normally condemn as "a symbol of our ability to bully half of the 
world."

No one wants WWIII, and that includes the United States.  We will do what we 
have to do to avoid it, but I plead with you as a U.S. citizen -- please 
support us and our government as we, the American people, have sworn to do.  
Criticism of U.S. politics and foreign relations doesn't do a bit of good.  
One of my best friends is a staunch member of the Communist Party.  He has 
always expressed his discontent with America and our governmental officials. 
  Today, in an act signifying the insurmountable nationalism we are able to 
muster, he gathered information for enrollment in the U.S. Navy and will be 
signing up tomorrow.

It is a sad state of affairs that we have been pulled into a fight out of 
which we have previously tried to stay.  Though retaliation is inevitable, 
we are STILL a nation focused on laws and human decency.  It is difficult to 
maintain our composure as we harbor anger and overwhelming fear, but I am 
confident that our leaders will not lash out and add senseless insult to an 
injury felt around the world.  Had you asked me yesterday what I think of 
our highest political officials, I would have made a "Texan inbreed" joke, 
to quote another Sinisteree.  But in the light of the events of the past 12 
hours, I am ready and willing to support my government in whatever they 
choose to do.

The rescue workers will be on call for days.  We will be cleaning up the 
aftermath for weeks.  We will still be in shock for months.  I am personally 
terrified to move in a week to a suburb of D.C., as I have been planning to 
do for several months now, because our new apartment is closer to the 
federal and financial districts of D.C.  I send my sincere condolences to 
those who live directly in NYC and in the inner workings of D.C.  None of 
our lives will ever be the same.

Please, when posting to the list, which reaches many natives of American 
soil, remember that in theory, it is easy to condemn acts of defense and/or 
retaliation as excessive, or damaging to the idea of world peace.  But it is 
not so easy to entertain rhetoric when every five minutes, another military 
vehicle flies over your house, when you break down in tears because you have 
finally tracked down an old friend who works three blocks down from the NYC 
World Trade Center, when family and friends were scheduled to fly today and 
all you can do is thank God they weren't on one of those four planes that 
met such a horrible fate this morning.

Though it is small comfort, I will continue to replay in my mind the scene 
of our members of the U.S. Congress gathered on the Capitol Building steps, 
singing "God Bless America."  It is this unity of purpose and nationalism 
that gives me the only comfort I can find.  We as a nation will do what is 
necessary to ensure the safety of our citizens, as dictated by our national 
leaders.  It is unfair for anyone to ask us to do otherwise.

Again, thank you for your support, and may all of you be kept safe.

Sincerely,
K. Girton
Washington, D.C.

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