Sinister: i can't stop shaking

[Kirsten Kenyon]

  my heart hurts today.  it was one of the most beautiful days i've 
seen in months, and i turned my face to the clear blue sky and i 
cried because i couldn't understand.  
  i went for a few beers to clear my head...i don't think it helped.  
everyone had blank expressions on their faces, and nick drake played 
as a soundtrack to the silent pictures on the television.  there was 
a girl on the news...about my age.  covered in blood. i shouldn't 
have been able to go out for a beer, anyway...but nobody cared. 
  we walked down the street and two kids came running over with a 
camera, trying to make some sort of documentary and asking us what we 
thought.  i didn't say a word...i just wanted to hide.  we went to 
the record shop and people were standing around yelling at each 
other, and trying to listen to jazz to ease their minds and smoking 
cigarettes in the shop, which you're not supposed to do.  nobody said 
anything, though.  
  my dad looks so sad...i've never seen him this way.  and my 
mom...she looks terrified.  it's making my stomach turn.
  i had to stop for gas on the way home...and the roads were covered 
in cars stopped dead waiting in line at the stations.  people lined 
the streets waving american flags and shouting.  they weren't helping 
anything.  
  a friend of mine just killed himself.
  i am still shaking.
    LOVE  
kirsten
  


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