Sinister: do something pretty while you can...

[AN]

just out of the nursery.
since none of you know me yet, my name is annika, soon 21 years old and, like a handful of sinisterees, i'm from sweden. 
i won't say much about me, that's not why i'm writing right now.
 
i was going to wait another while before posting anything.
but i feel i can't.
 
i didn't find out before 7pm yesterday (1pm nyc time).
i didn't believe it then. i don't think i have yet completely understood the full of it.
 
i cried last night, watching the news.
i fell asleep listening to "we rule the school". sometimes we think we do. sometimes we feel nothing can damage us, there's nothing we can't say, nothing we can't prevent. we rule the school.
do we?
 
i can hardly read my sinister mails today. my sight keeps getting blurred from tears. and i feel horrified. 
i want to do something, but i can't think of anything to do. 
except writing.
 
it's a really nice day. sunshine, blue sky and a few clouds. who could ever know, who would've guessed? i'm scared.
i should go out and do something pretty...
 
i pray for you, i think of you, i suffer with you.
but i also can't help feeling relieved it wasn't me and i'm sorry.
 
for the short time i've been a sinisteree this list has been a source of joy and comfort for me. you're lovely people, remember that, believe that.
 
let's pray there will be no more wars. let's hope somehow this will be solved without anyone innocent being punished.
 
 
almighty god in heaven, your people are in pain.
i do not know why this had to happen, i am too simple.
but i pray that you are with the american nation this very minute.
comfort them, help them help eachother, walk with them and don't let them fall any further.
i know your angels are crying. when i close my eyes i can almost hear them. i cry with them.
lord, take your people in your arms and protect them against the evil that yesterday chocked the entire world.
let them feel you're with them, let them feel you love them.
god bless america.
 
amen
 
 
love
/an

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