Sinister: (no subject)

[ArtsyDeco at xxx.com]

Sorry to post twice in two days about basically the same thing, but I felt like I had to write something.  I just signed a card for the girl who lives in the room across from me.  Her name is Nari.  Her cousin was killed.  What do you write?  I can't write what I'm thinking, the simplified feelings that accompany tradgedy.  I wish your cousin wasn't dead so both of you could be okay.  The messages all look the same but at least I know we all mean it.  Someone outside just asked when it would stop.  The scary thing is, it's only been two days.  It won't stop for a long time.  More people are finding out that they're never going to see their relatives and friends again.  

My first reaction was to the building too.  The image was just too powerful.  But inside that shot that keeps getting replayed of this enormous structure falling into itself, hidden behind the celluloid, people are dying in huge numbers and horrible ways.  I can't turn on the television without seeing people.

I'm sure everyone thinks I'm a jerk for not going to the vigil they're holding tonight.  I don't like religious ceremonies.  If they help some people feel better I'm glad and think that's reason enough for them to happen.  I won't go though.  I feel it all already.  I'm going to give blood.  I'm going to give whatever I can where it's needed.  Standing with a bunch of other sad people in the dark is only going to make me feel worse.  That's not what I need right now.  If anything I need to feel a bit defiant, to feel like rebuilding.  

They arrested three people in Newton (where I'm at) today.  They evacuated the area.  One person was arrested in Boston.  It's all around me.  I'm sick of hearing sirens.

Thank you for being here so I could write this.
Kara*
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