Sinister: vancouver b&s show greatness

[Robyn Fadden]

sin-is-ter,

firstly, thank you all for the past few days postings and just that
feeling of community. you know, being slightly misanthropic to start
with, you all gave me hope and made me hang onto my threatened love
for people. loving is so much better. as hippie as it sounds, i'm
sending out the love vibes and good thoughts to everyone affected.
which is all of us in varying degrees. i think this is like praying.

the show here in vancouver was great, of course, and they played
'brilliant career' and 'mayfly' and 'there's too much love' and even
a left banke song which they fiddled around with getting right. so
very cute. they really are all beautiful, aren't they? i wanted to
take them all home (yes, like kittens), but that's a lot of mouths to
feed... cute mouths though. stuart and stevie did a lot of fast
scottish-accent talking which everyone seemed to understand about 60%
of, but it didn't matter b/c stuart's body language made up for it.
as did his dancing. isobel swung her hair side to side and made
everything feel all mod when you watched her for too long and her
voice seemed even whispier than on record. and for so many people on
stage, they were tight, perfect. and even songs i was originally
lukewarm on were great. aw, it was all great. and also grate.

(also, is everyone not in absolute love with stuart? he's so my #1
unattainable crush now. right next to don mckellar. (has john cusack
not fallen from grace in the unattainable crush arena? i mean,
'america's sweethearts'? why, john? why? maybe it was lloyd dobler i
loved all along...))

and so good to finally see jonathan richman b/c i have missed him the
last few times he's been around. he even sang 'vampire girl' and 'to
hide a little thought', and did a lot of cute dancing with and
without guitar. yes, steve, i wish he was my dad too. 

i didn't get to hug or hang out with any members of the band, but
that's okay. the night was such a mix of happiness and sadness to me.
really just overwhelming. 

the only (temporarily) marring thing would be that we didn't have
assigned seats and the orpheum is huge, so those of us who skipped
out of work early to line up got some good seats up at the front
(people ran! it was craziness), though i knew that when belle and
sebastian came on stage everyone would rush up in the space between
the stage and the front row and into the aisles. and it happened but,
hey, what can ya do, you just have to deal with it. but people kept
yelling for everyone to sit down, which just was not going to happen.
it just bothered me b/c you could feel their anger, it was there, and
it wasn't necessary. especially this week. and, hey, i was 10th in
line and about 50 people joined their friends in line in front of me
about 15 minutes before the doors opened. and then everyone ran up to
the front anyway. if anyone should be bitter, it was me and the 9
people in front of me. but why ruin things that way? it sucks, but if
nothing can be done, don't wreck the show for yourself. i just
mention it b/c this (certain people's anger/bitterness/obnoxious
behavior suddenly affecting an otherwise nice time) happens all the
time and in many circumstances. and, on a massive and horrible scale,
it happened on tuesday too. i couldn't help but think of that last
night, hence my mixed emotions.

i guess you just have to go zen over it all. but it's difficult, and
it seems that anger is so much easier to feel than love in this
circumstance. it's hard to turn that around. and i understand what
someone said about comparing her anger/hate/even despair to how it
feels to be completely in love. they are all-encompassing, they block
out rational thought. but love makes you feel good and you love it,
whereas anger makes you feel terrible and you hate it (one would
hope.) 

yeah.

okay, so a while ago ken chu made me say 'oh my god!' because he said
'police camera action'! it made me want to get cable in my very own
home. that and the return of The Rock. but right now i don't even
want to turn on the tv to the one channel i do get. as someone said,
we shouldn't feel guilt, but i don't feel that, i just feel confused
on a new level. forget post-modernism and even post-post-modernism;
this is post-september 11, 2001. i don't even know what to say
anymore. and i know this letter is long.

love to all,
robyn

=====
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. ~Steven Wright
~~~
Robyn Fadden    rfadden at yahoo.com    Vancouver, BC

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