Sinister: i get a little warm in my heart...

[Kirsten Kenyon]

  i've just been out with a friend from work.  we went to a boy's 
house....there were two of them.  boys, that is.  the girl's name is 
corin, and the boys are her friends.  she said they would be on 
the "patio," which i had imagined to be a slab of concrete decorated 
with plastic furniture and potted plants.  instead, it was a little 
building full of nice furniture and expensive-looking electronic 
devices.  it's in the backyard, so maybe that makes it a patio....or 
something.  the boys were funny.  they kept saying silly things and 
giggling, watching me try to hide under the table in embarrassment.  
they were listening to rap music and one of them was positively 
dripping with gold jewelry and he let me try on a three-karat diamond 
ring and, for once in my life, i actually did feel a bit like j-lo.  
i didn't much like the look of it there on my thumb.  i gave it to 
corin and she took another one and held them up like earrings and 
pretended to be a princess and batted her eyelashes, and she really 
did look nice that way because she is a diamond sort of girl. i used 
to make rings out of the little green paper twisty ties you get for 
produce bags at the grocery store.   corin and i played with 
diamonds. i felt underdressed.   
  so i came home and on the way i thought and smoked and kept the 
window rolled down even though it was raining.  the rain looked 
something like snow tonight, and i decided i would like nothing more 
than to stay in hiding for a few months and come out when everything 
is covered in a white blanket of snow and all that's on television 
is "it's a wonderful life" and i can lie on my back and squint at the 
lights on the tree so that the beams shoot out in every direction.  i 
am not a fan of holidays at all.  especially christmas because it 
means weeks of hell at work...stressed-out shoppers, lame glittery 
snowflakes hanging everywhere, and everyone's favorite, the RuPaul ho-
ho holiday album.  but right now, it just sounds...nice.
  xoxo
kirsten
   


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