Sinister: I think maybe I've gone south...

[ArtsyDeco at xxx.com]

I sit here in my dorm room.  Earlier someone who resembled wee chris walked by.  For a campus that is generally populated by jockish boys, there are a surprising number of B&S stunt doubles.  I've spotted at least three stuart davids.  There's a stuart murdock roaming about somewhere.  I met a lovely german girl named charlotte who bears a certain resemblance to the asthmatic gerbil voiced one.  Somehow I think the ultimate coup would be a Belfast Bob.

My parents were at a wedding yesterday while I was watching the graduate.  On her wedding night (her third wedding night) the bride made her entrance to Ted Nugent, danced with her father to Def Leopard, and then, to top the evening off, grabbed a mouse that had been discovered crawling the walls.  She then proceded to squeeze the life out of the mouse with her left hand as blood dripped from her right where it had bit her.  I'm so confused by the absolute ridiculous nonsense in the world.

Now I've had the song Is This It by the strokes on repeat for about a half hour now.  Not a particularly wonderful song but it is suiting my mood beautifully.  The tone balances somewhere between melancholy and happiness.  I don't think there's much else I could listen to at the moment.  Anything happier would make me sad because I'm not that happy.  Anything sadder would make me sad because, well because it's sad.

I doubt I've cried more in a single day than I did today.  I cried when I thought about how much I missed Peter.  I cried when my mother wouldn't book tickets for me to go to England in December.  I cried when she said she didn't want me to do my study abroad in Bath next year.  I cried when we talked about the terrorist attacks.  I cried pretty much every time I talked to Peter and for a while afterwards.  I think I've had a good idea though.  My parents want me to study abroad in Germany.  Here's what I propose.  Next year I spend the second semester in Bath, rather than the whole year.  I'll still study german and get alot of core courses out of the way.  Then next year I'll spend a semester in Germany.  Everybody wins.  I'll see Peter.  I'll spend time in Germany.  I won't be gone for a whole year at a time.  If I can do this.  We'll see.

My mom said something that seemed genuinely sweet today. That her and my dad always felt like they were on borrowed time with me because I was a gift given to them that didn't really come from them.  For all the times she's made me feel awful, she can still surprise me.

Love and stunt double sightings,
Kara Jean*
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