Sinister: Fuck this cuntfaced arsehole dickhead shit (p.s. twat)

[Kenneth P Y Chu]

Last night, in anticipation of tonight's exciting B&S gig and the coming of 
a new album, I found myself reading the song titles of this forthcoming 
(which is a lie because it is the fifthcoming) LP once again, and couldn't 
help thinking.  With song titles such as "Fuck This Shit", containing a 
staggering 66.6% swearwords to normal words ratio, will the CD cover get to 
sport one of those "Parental Guardience - EXPLICIT CONTENTS" stickers?  
Featured only on all things cool such as the computer game Grand Theft Auto? 
  And Limp Bizkit records?  I fucking hope so.  It's about time we get some 
street cred. with our record purchases.

Later on that night it was getting late and my thoughts had took on a more 
abstract twist, the only question remained in my head was "Just who am I?"  
Yes, the oldest question known to mankind, except for maybe "How old exactly 
was the queen mum?".  I remembered some Greek man once had almost found the 
answer to the first question, but stopped short at the post, he got as far 
as "I think, therefore I am....er .." before his brain juice ran out.

I was determined to find out, so I turned to the Internet for the answer.  I 
asked Jeeves, but he wasn't much help.  Unless I really am the mythical 
hottt Russian slut "Iwanna Ukumski", which would have been nice but I didn't 
think my blossoms were really quite that protuberant.  Thankfully, later on 
I stumbled upon an Internet mailing list called Sinister, and I was 
enlightened to find that:

- Someone had been dreaming about my name
- Two people *heart* me
- Dolores O'Riordan was seperated from me at birth
- I was in Bed with Isobel Campbell
- I have the horns when I go bowling.

All good, I guess, and after a bit more thinking later on still I figured 
out also that:

- I am going to see B&S tonight!

.. and I was quite happy.  There had been a lot of Reportings Back on the 
list lately too, from London, Edinburgh, Glasgow, and Manchester, dating way 
back from New Years Eve up to merely yesterday.  And only the one April 
fools joke that I could spot, brilliant.

One more bit.. caitlin pigtails said:
>>Also in the news lately -- and seriously, I'm not making this up -- the
current issue of Cat World magazine describes Tompaulin as a "rock
band".  I burst out laughing in the middle of the bookstore. <<

Haha I had to laugh too.. Cat World Magazine!  Anyway the last time I heard 
them live, at times, I was certain they were a Hard House kind of band, what 
with their distortion guitars playing the crunchy riffs.

Wankers Pricks and Red Bulls
Ken
P.S.: Now that ALL of the B&S Treasure Hunt trophies have been found, I 
wonder if the answers to the Treasure Hunt clues will be revealed any time 
soon.

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