Sinister: The thinnest music fans in the world?

[Gardiner, Stuart]

...she said, eating a chicken.

Some more reviews for you... First, this one from the Independent:
http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/music/reviews/story.jsp?story=282032

Not the best review ever, since it seems to be reviewing the Brixton academy
sound system rather that the gig. Still, the following day in the
Independent on Sunday, Simon Price decided that it would be even better to
review the audience instead of B&S (something the NME have been doing for
years for some reason). I haven't found the second one on their website, so
here goes:


"The world's greatest living rock critic, Simon Reynolds, once observed a
'physical determinism' among indie types when it comes to deciding what sort
of musical tribe they will join. Reynolds was talking about the Cuties - the
twee, childhood-fixated movement of the mid-Eighties - and the Softy Walker
types it attracted, but he could as easily have been descibing a Belle and
Sebastian show. Tonight, the Brixton Academy is full of girls with retard
fringes and hairclips, and boys with bowlcuts and NHS specs.

"The nation of Cuties disenfranchised by the rise of baggy and grunge
rallied behind this band more than any other, and there were enough of them,
a few years back, to block the phonelines and scam a Brit Award for their
heroes. If the Academy's balcony isn't full, it's only because the official
capacity could easily be accommodated in the stalls alone: this is the
thinnest audience I've ever been in.

"The music is as meagre as the crowd. Belle and Sebastian, long before
'Quiet Is The New Loud' became a handy slogan, made a virtue of gentleness.
As minor scuffles break out between admonitory shushers and those urging
B&S, Chuck D-style, to 'turn it up', the set is easily drowned out by the
contingent down the front who know every word to 'The Boy With The Arab
Strap'.

"Just once, for the coda to 'Lazy Line Painter Jane', they pump up the
volume and scare the wits out of anyone who'd fallen asleep. Not that the
music matters: this isn't so much a Belle and Sebastian concert as a
gathering of people who think Belle and Sebastian are a good idea. Which, if
only for giving the world an album entitled Fold Your Hands Child, You Look
Like A Peasant, I do. But I wouldn't shout about it."


The comedy doesn't stop there. Underneath the review were four vox-pops
(with accompanying awful photos) from people who had been to the gig, and
who may or may not be on this list...


Matt Jerome, Project manager, 26:
"The were pretty poor. They didn't play any of their best songs, they didn't
really interact with the crowd much. I was looking forward to it - I think
they capture the essence of being different and being an outsider - but it
was disappointing tonight."

James Long, Postgrad student, 22:
"I thought it was really impressive. It was quite slow to start off with,
but once the band and the crowd got into it, it was really good. It was
softer than I thought it would be, and I imagined it would be hard to get
any impact across without it being louder, but they managed."

Sarah Sonner, Student, 24:
"It was great to see them, although I had hoped the sound would have been
better. The girls weren't loud enough and they kept having to adjust levels
and things. But I loved the way they interacted with the crowd, and the
music sounded totally great."

Mike Allen, Office clerk, 25:
"I was a bit disappointed. Their more dynamic songs were excellent, but the
others just didn't come across really and everyone just talked through them.
The main woman singer just looked bored throughout most of it, which didn't
help."


They don't mention Richard's gurning behind the drumkit though (you should
have seen him when he did a rock-out drumbreak during Suspicious Minds in
Manchester...). And they also don't seem to have noticed that the band have
been destroyed and replaced by clones - either that or Chris, Mick and
Richard all go to the same hairdresser.


So, reading between the lines, B&S are playing Glastonbury this year then?
And the one year when I can't afford to go. Gutted. Mind you, it has been
pointed out to me that the fact that I've now been to 11 B&S gigs may be
slightly sad, so maybe I should take a break... Is there a medical condition
for being addicted to a band? Bellaphilia?

Big Stu


(Content: 95%. Private Jokes: only one. I'm getting better...)
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