Sinister: he had a stroke at the chatroom

[Kieran Turner]

Whoah, Sinister, I just had the most ridiculously
stressful chatroom experience, and the only way
I'm going to manage to deal with it is to come over
here to you wonderful twee bopsters and de-lurk
myself at you. Which will make me appear classically
neurotic. Not exactly what one expects to do when
making a first post. Humph.

So, the story's this. I'm kind of accidentally having a
love affair thingy with a girl in Ukraine. Now, with me
living in Brighton, this might seem a bad idea. When
you consider the appalling standard of my Russian,
and the not-that-much better standard of her English,
it's just a comic idea, although by no means my worst
ever.

Notwithstanding that, email's going fine, and then
there's this spectre... let's use a chatroom. Well, OK,
fine, but that's not something I do a whole hell of a lot
of... and of course, I've just spent the evening, trying to
be all romantic and exploring the relationship, and
every third sentence was going out to a bunch of
decidedly unsympathetic dutch creeps. (Stupid design
with a "privacy" button you had to keep pressing.)
Shit shit shit, I think I  turned into a complete wreck and
said even less than usual in these situations, feeling
decidely non-intimate.

Romance just wrecks me. I think I'm actually not bad at
dealing with people. Just anything that might actually get
really personal or about me... then it's brain = jelly time.

Right. Character assasinated quite enough. Ask me
about saving the world, I'm good at that. :)

K

Oh yeah... B&S content... er, luv 'em. Hey, I'm from
Edinburgh so the accents make me feel sort of at home.
Aye. Went on my first ever demo (an anti-vivisection
march with my mum in the 80s) at the park with the
amphitheatre in Glasgow that appears in the vid for
Century of fakers... Howzat for obscure?

Oh, yeah, and... can anyone direct me to my local church
of Ken Chu?


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