Sinister: From Sneakers To Porn

[Vilkas .]

SNEAKER (TRAINER) OBSESSION > SAMBAS ETC. > YAHOO GROUPS > PORN!

     Hello Kids.
     I am obsessed with sneakers. What else is as comfortable and as 
stylish? Nothing!
     My friend Anda and me were talking and we agreed that no matter what 
your shoes look like, the one thing that they must be is comfortable enough 
to either walk very far or run away from the bad guys very quickly if 
nessacary-i.e. functional-i.e.sneakers. I don't care for the white American 
sneakers; they're dorky and ugly.
     I'm the proud owner of fair number of pairs of sneakers, but my fave 
pair is the grass green neoprenette and suede Adidas skate sneakers with 
translucent lime green rubber stripes. They're so comfortable, they bounce, 
and they're bright.
     I am in love with European and Japanese market sneakers. The colours! 
The velcro! The inventive use of non-athletic fabrics!
     So. I've been on the hunt, sneaker pimpin' stylee for:
1.  the bright Cereleun Blue Adidas Sambas/Gazelles
2.  the pink, furry, Nike Kukini-B's
3.  the flowered Puma Flows in any other colour but red
     I had found the Sambas/Gazelles at a charity shop on the famous Byres 
road, but they were too funnn-ky for even me. Sombody with stank-ass feet 
had owned these shoes. I passed on them. I wished I had snapped them up for 
£4.00.  I could have boiled them or something.
     I saw this guy Thursday night wearing: lemon yellow Samba style suede 
Addidas with lemon yellow soles and tread! With cobalt blue stripes! They 
were beautiful. He was not...a wife-beater with BIG trousers combined with 
his sketchy demeanor makes him look like a dealer at a bad rave maaaaaaaan. 
But his sneakers were all that.
     One can only have so many pairs of shoes due to the combination of 
checking account and apartment size. I couldn't afford zillions of sneakers 
but I can still look.  Online fashion magazines for sneakers are numerous.  
So; I looked up "Sneakers" on Yahoo groups. I got a few groups that were all 
about the same thing as me. And then maybe after the fourth group; there was 
a whole list of sneaker *fetish* sites. Yep. So of course I clicked on the 
one called "Lads Lust 4 Lads". It was a whole bunch of queer neds! Doin' it 
through the back door! Wearing shell suits and the like! Wearing puffy, 
bright white American style sneakers! Ned man-love! Woohoo! It was like the 
scary, racist, homophobic, delinquents from my neighborhood (Oregon Hill) 
decided to stop beating up non-whites and decided to start gettin' busy 
beating each others meat.
     I guess there are sneaker enthusiasts and sneaker fetishists.  Me, I'm 
the former. Oh but I'm amused by the example of the latter. Go on wit yo 
(queer-ned-sneaker-wearing) bad self.
     As an aside; Isn't is odd how hardcore porn is so commonplace in this 
modern, space age America? It's another popular media form; like a sitcom or 
a fashion magazine.  I'm not talking about that there are dirty magazines 
and vids; I mean that "Porn Star" is a clothing company, a general cultural 
reference, a sticker on the back of someone's hoopty, and a tv show theme on 
loads of tv shows.
     I don't have a problem with porn. Porn is, as Martha Stewart would say, 
is a good thing. Well, generally. I just have to ask what next? What will 
one find raunchy next? What happens when porn is no longer dirty? In the US, 
I suspect either a healthy repesct for and comfort with the human body or 
the complete opposite, essentially legal rape, would happen.  Beware of 
desensitisation; it can lead to brain dulling.
     As an aside to that, I'm just glad to have connected Martha Stewart to 
porn.
     And as an aside to that aside; there's this guy I know called Cornell. 
Me and my friend Holly were spazzing out one night in our local; thinking up 
crazy-ass names for each other and folks we knew; Holly came up with the 
best one ever: Softcore Cor-nell-ography. Well at least it makes me laugh.

Summary:
    Ok. I love sneakers cos they're fly and comfortable at the same time; 
you can bounce and look good at the same time.
     And I'm glad to see a place where neds and other such young men can 
learn to truly love each other.


               Rock On, Ms. Vilkas





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